Memories of a Rainy Day
by Dark-flames
Summary: Sometimes memories are in the past, sometimes in the unknown future. BrendaDylan story, but with all the characters and their plots. BD, the other couples, wait and see...
1. Apocalypse Baby

**Memories of a rainy day**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the origional characters or plot, I do however own any fictional characters added by me personally (DarkFlames)for the plot of the story at hand, and the titles, story, and all else that belongs to the fictional non-profit story that is 'Memories of a Rainy Day'.

**Summary:** Sometimes memories are in the past, sometimes in the un-known future. Brenda/Dylan story, but with all the characters and their little side plots. Brenda and Dylan are dealing with surprising news that will affect not only them, but those around them. Donna deals with he mixed emotions on her relationship with Ray, and the intense bond she has with David, who in turn fights for a music career, and to clear out the emotional past with Valerie. Steve fights for a girl, Claire,a little surprised at the extent of his emotions. Brandon explores the future, and Kelly explores the possibility of a future with him. Plus, of course, much much more. Takes place in the fall of the gang's third year at CU but will continue over un known period of time (talking years people). May be special apperances by old characters, such as Andrea, Stuart, Rick (yep), Jesse, and more.

**Chapter summary: **Brenda and Dylan have news, but they turn out to be hard to break (or to avoid doing so). Steve has problems, something he has in common with Donna. Kelly sees Brandon, and asks him to tak to the other blonde. And David meets with a record producer. Read for more...

_**Chapter one, Apocalypse baby**_

The day was alight with memories, hers and theirs. All of them different in details, yet similar in general pattern.

Many questions had arisen, just after it happened that was. Not all of them had got an answer even now as they stood there huddled in the rain drawing on each others comfort and bodily warmth.

Some brought umbrellas, for which she would always be thankful even though she could not recall who these people were five minutes after the service. There were so many of them, and so few at the same time.

A warm hand held hers throughout the ordeals. One after one the shocks hit her until she realized it was all just the same and shut out the noises and questions and reassurances completely.

Nothing made sense anymore. Her memories swayed before her open eyes, as if a poor movie sequence was being played over and over again simply to remind her. Their memories were different; they only remembered the sad faces, the un-fortunate news, and the desperate reactions of two people having had something so precious torn from their arms.

The service was quiet, and they stood huddled in the rain. Some of them had brought umbrellas.

_**12.04 AM**_

The winds whisked the empty bag from the garden, but she could not care less. Behind her Dylan was holding a camera and taking pictures even though he had not yet figured out quite how all the buttons and settings worked.

He was smiling, and raised his eyes to look at her.

She was standing there, amidst the wind, wearing nothing but one of his long t shirts and underwear, wondering how on earth they were going to break this news to her family in the morning.

'Smile Bren…' he whispered, and she obliged gritting her teeth in a Hollywood fashion laugh.

They had read off the results of the third test just moments earlier. After much 'ifs' and 'buts' Brenda had persuaded Dylan to take a late night drive to the pharmacy to buy some additional samples of the home-pregnancy kit just to be sure. They had not been to a doctor yet and frankly Brenda did not want to find out from a stranger in a white cloak. She wanted to be the one to read it off the stick with Dylan holding her hand in case she fainted.

The first had been positive, but neither of them had allowed themselves to believe it. The second one came out in between and the third was positive again. After a little discussion they decided to go with the first and last.

She let her hands move across her belly while Dylan shot pictures. It felt so right somehow.

They had not planned this. In fact it had come as quite a surprise to both of them when Brenda realized something was different with her body. She had been late before, during their last pregnancy scare, but this time it was not as much a scare as a new scene in their performance.

They had been living next to each other for six months in apartments in Beverly Hills before moving in together in a house next door to casa Walsh. That had been a quite the shocker for Brenda's family, and they had gone about that rather gently. After a while the Walsh's all seemed comfortable with having their only daughter living next door with that McKay boy. That was how her father still referred to Dylan at times of distress.

Brandon had been fine with it, as long as he was allowed to borrow the house during the summer when Dylan and Brenda were scheduling their vacation in Hawaii. They had gone to North Shore, a beautiful resort with magnificent hotels, nature, and surfing options.

Steve had the same claim to the house, not that Dylan or Brenda had actually agreed to that, though.

There was really no downside on the bargain, except that the two of them had finally learnt how much hard work a lawn and back garden required to look fine.

So now they had lived here, in a two floor house with two bedrooms, a living room, a dining hall adjoined to a big kitchen, a bathroom, a small pool, and a walk in closet for Brenda, as well as a few extra rooms for storage and work including a place for Dylan to write and a room for Brenda to study and practice her acting skills for the next big play, for five and a half months including their summer vacation.

It was mid October and the baby had not been on their schedules or even future prospects. Marriage seemed far off enough. Still Dylan had been stunned but with happiness when she told him, and she had found herself growing to the idea despite a certain amount of worry and shock. Still, life was good for the Walsh-McKay household.

_**10.08 AM**_

The next morning Brenda awoke to the smell of fried eggs, bacon, and noodles. Something also vaguely reminded her of burnt bread.

'Are you up yet sleepy?' a voice floated into the bedroom from the hallway.

'Dylan, what are you doing?' Brenda yawningly made her way out of bed.

The smiling head of the dark haired man popped in through the door and contemplated her momentarily.

'You just need some inspiration that is all. And I have just the thing.' He noted.

'What is that honey?' Brenda replied sluggishly.

'Breakfast…' Dylan whispered confidently.

'In bed?' Brenda asked enthusiastically.

Momentarily Dylan's face fell and he mocked surprise.

'We could always throw pillows on the kitchen floor?' he proposed after a while.

She threw a pillow at her boyfriend. 'Fine, just give me a minute.'

The master bedroom was mostly taken up by the great bed. She had loved it since the day they found it in that store. It was the kind you could jump around and bounce up and down on, with soft mattresses and still big enough.

The main bathroom which Dylan and she used was adjoined to the room, something she had grown accustomed to after growing up with Brandon.

As she made her way there this morning she noticed the pregnancy tests from yesterday still in the trashcan, quite visible. It still seemed a little dreamlike, and she was tempted to pick up the box and re read the instructions just in case she had gotten it all wrong.

Fortunately Dylan's voice interrupted her as he impatiently yelled for her from the downstairs kitchen.

'Coming!'

_**10.35 AM**_

'Brandon, could you take these to table four?' Nat asked over the many voices murmuring in the Peach Pit at ten o clock on a Monday morning.

'Sure.' Brandon replied, with a sarcastic smile.

It was not so much that he minded the manual labor, it was more of a principal issue really. Specially as Steve had been sitting right next to him when Nat placed the request.

With a tiered nod Steve looked at him as if saying 'why are you not at table four already? People want food.'

'Yeah, yeah.' Brandon muttered to himself.

He had left casa Walsh early that morning to swing by downtown before meeting Steve for an apparently urgent breakfast discussion. After Brandon had arrived at the Pit, however, not many words had been exchanged between himself and the somewhat drowsy Sanders.

Being a Monday morning after all, he could not say he was entirely surprised.

As he was heading back from table four (where a pair of high school sweethearts had been cuddling and given him an annoying glare as he repeated their orders) the doorbell started moving and delivering ringing noises while a blonde girl entered the coffee shop.

'Morning Kel.'

'Hi Brandon, I thought you would be at school by now?' the girl asked mildly surprised.

'Yeah well, I have some late classes today and I promised Steve breakfast.'

'Oh, I see.' Kelly smiled up at him. 'It beats my excuse.'

'What is that?' Brandon asked as the two of them made their way back towards Steve at the counter.

'I just needed to get out of the Beach House, you should hear Donna and Ray going at it.' Kelly proclaimed, plopping down into a seat on the other side of Steve. 'Good morning.'

'What's so good about it?' Steve grunted, before hastily tuning out the conversation and returning to staring into space and toying with the food on the plate.

Brandon raised an eyebrow. 'Donna? Really?'

Kelly paused momentarily, then used her scarf to smack the boy for his implications regarding their friend.

'Hardly. No, they were fighting again. Loudly too. I swear the only time of peace and quiet at that place is at night and now that he's been staying on the sofa that usually means a couple of hours. I think someone should talk to Donna, she's not doing too well with all this.' Kelly finished, and ordered up a coke after throwing some money on the counter for the waiter.

'Well have you tried talking to her?' Brandon asked.

'Of course, but all she does is look at me like I'm crazy or something. You know what she is like these days. I can hardly talk to her at all anymore, not with him around.'

'So you want me to try?' Brandon proposed suspiciously but not sarcastically this time.

'Do you think you could?' Kelly said.

'I don't know Kel, I mean I love Donna and if you say there's a chance she'll respond better to me then I'll go for that, but don't you think you should be talking to someone else about this? Like maybe Brenda?' he let the questions hang in the air for a while.

Kelly watched Steve who apparently was still not paying any attention to the conversation.

'I don't know, maybe you're right.' She said after a while.

'Look, I'll talk to Donna tonight, we've got this exhibition project together to prepare for so we'll probably be at school pretty late anyways. I still think you should talk to Brenda though. You might be able to figure something better out together.' Brandon concluded.

There had been some issues between Kelly and Brenda after his sister's return with Dylan from London. It was not so much the fact that Brenda and Dylan had gotten back together as the competitiveness that had always been there between the two girls.

After all that competition started already as they met and Brenda started cutting up jeans to look right for the beach as she could not afford to buy the fancy clothes, and Kelly purchasing a jacket simply because her friend had liked it but could no pay.

Kelly and Brandon had dated over the summer, but decided to end it as friends instead of committing. Both of them felt the attraction was still there, but neither saw the other as boyfriend/girlfriend material just yet.

In fact Brandon was currently dating another girl from one of his literature classes which Brenda had convinced him to sign up for. Her name was Susan and she was also a reporter at the school network.

Somehow it just seemed so much easier with something new than risking something old and precious. Which brought his line of thought back to the blonde and Brenda.

'I'm supposed to see her for lunch today, I'll talk to her then. But that doesn't mean I don't think you should talk to Don anyways.' Kelly said while a sandwich and a bottle of water was placed in front of her.

'Sounds like a plan.' Brandon responded.

There was momentary quiet while they both looked down at Steve, who had not yet moved his gaze.

'Steve, that's it I need to get going now.' Brandon said cautiously.

The other boy nodded.

'I'll talk to him.' Kelly said as Brandon started to get up, still looking worried. 'You go ahead, I don't have classes for another couple of hours anyways.'

'Thanks' Brandon mouthed. 'Bye Sanders.'

'I'm screwed.' The blonde boy said in that faint defiant tone he used at times of despair.

Brandon smiled and connected his gaze with Kelly's again. They both nodded.

'Bye Nat, bye Kel.' Brandon waved and turned around to walk out the door of the Peach Pit. At least it was a sunny day.

_**12.58 PM**_

'Brandon!' the echoing voice of his sister stopped him in the middle of the hallway.

'Hey you.' He said turning around to great the exited brunette. 'What are you all perky about?' he asked.

'I can't tell you right now, but can you come over tonight? Just you though, it's important.' Brenda said with a broad smile plastered on her face and her green eyes twinkling in the sunlight.

'Sure. Should I be worried?' Brandon asked, lifting an eyebrow mockingly.

Brenda laughed a little. 'Hardly' she laughed. 'I don' think so.' A pause. 'I hope not.' Brenda said her smile beginning to fade.

'Okay, sounds good enough for me.' Brandon said stopping her before she could delve further into her line of apparently not comfortable thought.

'Right…' she said, less enthusiastic.

'Bren?'

'Yeah?' she asked, looking almost worried.

'I'm sure whatever it is will be fine, and I doubt anything that makes you look that happy would have me worried. Unless it involves Paris.' Brandon shot at her with a smile.

'I know, thanks. Oh I have to go, I promised I would have lunch with Kel.' Brenda said looking at the watch on the wall behind them.

'Right, tell her I said hi. And make sure to talk about Donna with her.' Brandon added.

Brenda looked around for a while. 'I know. I had no idea how bad it was. In fact I don't think any of us still do. I want to help her so badly, I can't imagine what she is going through but she just want open up about it.' She finished.

'I'm sure you'll do the right thing, whatever that is.' Brandon pecked her forehead. 'Listen, I'll come over around seven, is that good?'

'Sure, I'll tell Dylan. Do you want dinner?' she asked.

'What are you having?'

'Take out.' Brenda smiled shyly.

'Sounds great!' Brandon said, and turned around leaving down the hallway.

Brenda sighed. The thought of Donna was still in her mind and suddenly her baby news seemed less important.

She had made an appointment with the doctor before lunch, and he had confirmed her suspicions. Dylan had wanted to take her down to the beach for lunch, but she remembered the date with Kelly and decided to spend some quality time with her friend instead. After a few well placed kisses Dylan agreed, and was currently sitting in class.

The crowded hall was buzzing with noise, laughter, and stressful feet clattering against the floor as their owners rushed about.

By the backside there was an entire lawn with hardly anything but fresh green grass and a few trees. She spotted Kelly underneath one of them, un-packing her backpack in the shade. It must have been almost ninety degrees out today.

Making her way slowly down the staircase leading to the outdoor ground floor Brenda looked around trying to see if she recognized any of the other people having their lunch out in the sun shine of this gorgeous LA day.

There were mostly small packs of people chatting and smiling, or studying together. A few were sitting alone, some reading and some listening to music. None of which she could place.

'Kelly!' she called when she was only steps away.

'Bren, good morning.' Kelly said smiling brightly.

The two girls hugged quickly before sitting down. 'Oh, peanut butter.' Brenda laughed.

'Yeah well, you would be surprised how hard it is to make lunch in a household with three other students.' Kelly said.

'I went from living with my family, which included my brother the living eating machine, to living with a neighbor who had yet to realize his kitchen actually worked, to living in the same house as that person.' Brenda smiled at the thought. 'There were a lot of peanut butter sandwiches made.'

'I can imagine. I still don't see Dylan as the type to use the kitchen though?' Kelly said.

'I've given up training him.' Brenda noted, making herself comfortable on the ground while fishing up a banana and some salad from her bag.

'Now now, you need calories.' Kelly said mocking her choice of lunch.

'I know.' Brenda replied smiling. It felt right to be out and about like this with the girl opposite her.

'So what's new?' Kelly asked.

Brenda hesitated for a moment. She was dying to tell her big news, but at the same time she had made up her mind about who she would tell first already. They would all find out sooner or later, but both she and Dylan wanted their various families to know first.

Therefore she merely responded with a short 'Nothing much really.'

Kelly nodded, while un-bottling her water.

'So I was talking to Brandon earlier, about Donna.' Brenda started.

Kelly paused, looking slightly surprised.

'You're right, we have to do something.' Brenda continued.

'I completely agree, but what? I have tried talking to her, I know you have too, and this morning I even asked Brandon to try.' Kelly paused.

'Has anyone talked to David about this?' Brenda asked.

There was momentary silence. 'I don't think she wants to hear anything from him, not yet.' Kelly replied.

'I know she's hurting, but they were friends for a long time and they were close. Maybe she would listen to him?' Brenda added.

After the time with in the limo backseat David and Dona had reconciled in the fall, but their relationship was still rocky and eventually even their friendship suffered thorns as he begun criticizing her relation with Ray Pruitt. When he finally stood up last spring with Brenda and demanded Donna face up to reality about her boyfriend he had become a persona non-grata with his ex.

Surprisingly enough Brenda had not been blacklisted. Possibly because she had agreed to keep quiet about what she saw. David on the other hand could only guess as he had not been there, standing on a balcony in Palm Springs, when she fell.

'Well they have been working together lately, and they did have lunch with me and Steve at the Peach Pit last week.' Kelly murmured.

'I'm just saying it's a shot in the dark but you never know what it may lead to.' Brenda finished.

Kelly nodded. 'I'll talk to him today and meanwhile maybe you could…' the words drifted.

'I'll make sure to find her and make sure she's okay.' Brenda shook her head. 'I can't believe it you know, Donna Martin being in this situation?'

'It could have happened to anyone.' Kelly whispered.

'Don't I know it.' Brenda said barely audible.

'Huh?' the blonde asked curiously.

'Nothing. Let's eat, there must be more positive things to talk about. How did that blind date work out for you?' Brenda said, turning the conversation.

Kelly watched her momentarily. 'You know you can talk about it with me, in fact I wish you would. We never did, you were so determined to deal with it alone.'

Brenda shook her head. 'I know, I'm just not ready. I'm not sure if I ever will be. It's better, but I'm just not ready, but I promise you the day I am I will talk tell you everything.'

Kelly nodded. 'I don't have to tell me, as long as you know you can talk to me. About what happened last year, or anything else that's good or bad. That's what friends are for you know.'

'I know, thanks. Come on let's eat. I'm starving.' Brenda said, digging into the food.

_**1.15 PM**_

The sunlight streaked the roof tops, and still all Steve could think about was the darkness of last night. He kept seeing her face in front of him, hearing her voice as she talked in a low tone explaining softly why she needed to leave. It was not just the fact that she was walking out on their relationship, she was leaving LA.

He thought about the relationship. It had been stormy, un-predicted, and they had generally all the odds working against them. And here he was, fondling a ring in his pocket hoping to change her mind.

A bell rang somewhere far off and he let his hand slide out of his pocket. The velvet of the box containing the ring just annoyed him. She would be there, in class, and he did not want to face her. Still he knew that he had no choice but to go or he would risk a lower grade, something which was an accomplishment on its own really.

Donna was walking out of the main building, and he lingered his eyes on her a while. Parts of the conversation Brandon and Kelly had been having earlier that day came back to him and he considered himself somewhat fortunate at least.

Steve was not the kind of person to see a friend suffering without intervening one way or another, at least not when he knew he could and should. What happened between him and Brenda a few years back when she had gotten that role in 'Cat on a hot tin roof' was something he had often considered when he came close to letting a member of the gang down again.

Without a second thought he flung open the door of his new corvette, stepped out and pulled up his books in his arms.

'Donna, wait up!'

His voice boomed out over the school yard but the current red head stopped and turned around, trying to find the source of the sound.

'Over here, I'll be right there.' Steve waved his hands and got her attention, while at the same time attempting to lock and alarm his car. 'Right, here we go.' He said, mostly to himself, before starting over the walk paths towards to shyly smiling Donna Martin.

'Hi Steve, aren't you supposed to be in class?' she asked with her high pitched voice.

'Yeah, well. I figured I'd let you buy me coffee first.' He said with a testing smile.

The girl laughed, a bright laugh. _'Well at least I've made her smile.' _Steve thought.

'I'll have coffee with you, but you're buying.' She compromised.

Steve attempted to think this over as they started walking, and flung his arm around her. 'You know what, that sounds like a plan.'

She laughed again, this time however the sound was interrupted with a sharp inhale of breath.

'What's wrong Donna?' Steve asked stopping concerned.

'Nothing, it's just. I just twisted my ankle a little in the grass that's all, typical me to wear high heels here right?' she said, the smile back on.

Steve nodded. 'Well, come on then, be careful with those feet of yours. If you're lucky I'll throw in a cookie in the coffee deal.'

'You wouldn't!' Donna mocked him, and they continued walking in the midst of the many students wondering around.

**A/N: **Like? Despise? Anger? Happiness? Share it with a review please, and make a writer with a need for inspiration inspired to post more chappys (don't worry, I have written much much MUCH more on this story, so about four chapters are already ready to be posted. So it won't be a one year wait for the next one, but I will post sooner with reviews.)

/Darkflames


	2. Trying to Touch you

**Memories of a Rainy Day**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the origional characters or plot, I do however own any fictional characters added by me personally (DarkFlames)for the plot of the story at hand, and the titles, story, and all else that belongs to the fictional non-profit story that is 'Memories of a Rainy Day'.

**Chapter summary: **They can be right there, next to you, and impossible to reach. Or they can be so far off they do not even come to mind, and you have no intention of letting them find you and yet, somehow, they do. Reaching out for help, for support, or just to feel can be the hardest thing but then again,sometimes people surprise you!

**A/N: **I wanted to say thank you to my lovable readers for your reviews, and send a glare at those who did not. Please tell me what you think, positive and negative feedback all welcomed. The story becomes what it is with the help of all you readers! I have set up a schedule to update once a week, possibly twice in the future. And there will be much more than four chapters, I'm thinking more like fifty! ) Hope you enjoy, and remember: Review people! Love, DF

**_Chapter two, Trying to Touch You_**

After the priest had finished talking the people around them begun to slowly fade away and there was a clatter of shoes hitting the asphalt or gravel paths at first, and then the hushed voices dying away. Leaving, like they used to…

Some lingered, as if they felt an obligation to stay as company. Finally these few patient ones left as well, and he was the only one standing behind her.

Despite a cold wind she felt nothing beyond the numbness tearing her apart from the inside. She simply stood there, one hand in his and the other dangling almost limply at her side.

On the coffin that had been lowered she could still make out her rose, amidst all the other flowers. There were bundles of different colors that she knew would have made the precious one so happy.

Initially she had the sensation of being watched, by someone who should not be there any longer. A part of her realized the insanity of staying there for so long. Eventually she would have to go. Still, she could not bring herself to move. Not just yet.

Instead he came closer, clutching her hand in his. They stood there together. Just like they used to…

_**2.46 PM **_

'_Could you take that Brenda?' the voice of her boyfriend came from amidst the lower cabinets in the kitchen. It felt so good to call him that, even if just in her head; her boyfriend. _

'_Are you sure?' she said a little hesitantly while watching the phone that was ringing quite desperately._

'_It's probably just some bureaucrats' he paused, watching her from behind the counter 'but I can.' _

'_No.' she said very defiantly, causing him to smile at her._

'_The Dylan McKay residence.' Brenda said, and Dylan almost fell down laughing._

'_Very formal.' He mouthed, and she grabbed a pillow from the sofa and threw it at him. Fortunately it missed and hit the refrigerator instead._

'_Hi Nat!' she replied into the phone, going a sparkling red color. _

_Dylan smiled shyly while wiping his hands from something._

'_Well, he's a bit lazy, feels like now that he's rich he needs people to answer the phones for him. Yeah he missed out on the answering machine deals.' Brenda was explaining when Dylan came up behind her and took hold of the phone._

'_Good morning Nat.' he said, while kissing Brenda's ear._

Dylan was seated in the back of the room, with a newspaper spread out before him. He had happened to come over the section of personal ads and notices, and was watching the baby pictures which were there to celebrate birthdays.

They were so small and fragile, he thought.

To accompany his reading a bored voice was booming into the classroom, and not many were paying that close attention. It was an announcement of some extra curricular activities. Dylan found it quite strange how you almost automatically stopped going to those things after a few years into the school.

He really had not been prepared for this, but in some strange way it was comforting as well. Almost like the universe was telling them that it was right this way, it was as it should be. And he could hardly argue.

With a strange sensation in his heart he let his fingers trail the silver half of a heart hanging around his neck.

First time she had worn it was the day after he had given it to her at her work. She had looked so beautiful that day, most of all because in some sense they had felt so much more real. Like the necklaces were forms of a bond bringing them closer together?

Dylan had considered asking her to marry him many times, today being one of those many times. However, timing and feelings decided against it as always. He had not wanted to put too much pressure on their relationship, and most of all Brenda, before now. Today the main reason however was not that, it just would not feel right.

The day he asked her he wanted to sweep his future wife off her feet with surprise. If she was newly pregnant with his child it might seem like a forced gesture, even though his heart would have been true to it, and he did feel like they could wait. Time would have its way with them, it always did, and somehow he felt confident that one day it would seem right and that day everything would be perfect.

The only thing that had bothered him before was how he was to know when that day had arrived. Still, after yesterdays chocking news and his reactions he felt almost certain he would recognize a similar feeling that day.

'McKay!' the voice of Brandon Walsh called from a few rows ahead, and Dylan looked up to see his friend walking up to him.

The voice had stopped, and Dylan could not really remember when exactly that had happened. Right now the room seemed to be functioning as a study hall of sorts. Some had pulled up books and others were chatting in lowered voices.

'Walsh, how are you?' Dylan asked while the two shook hands.

'Good, your girlfriend just asked me to come over to dinner. She said you two had an announcement or something.' Brandon was explaining.

Dylan nodded absentmindedly, while folding the newspaper.

'Yeah, but I can't give you any hints. You'll just have to show up.' Dylan mocked the boy who was biting his lip.

'Fine, but it was worth a try.' Brandon replied. 'So, what are you doing in here?'

'I was supposed to be preparing for my classical literature class, but I finished the book so…' he let the words trail off.

'I see. I was supposed to help out at the paper, but that was a bit of a lost cause. And Susan was so busy she seemed mostly annoyed I was getting in the way.'

Dylan laughed. 'Yeah, amazing what happens to people under stress.'

Brandon nodded. 'So I was having breakfast with Steve this morning.'

'Yeah, what's going on with him?'

'You noticed it too? He didn't say a word all the time I was at the Peach Pit with him, only made some questionable noises.' Brandon said.

'I passed him in the hallway. I doubt he even noticed I was there.' Dylan explained.

'I can't figure it out.' Brandon seemed to be remembering something that was not making much sense.

'Could it be something with him and Claire?' Dylan asked, with a bored almost pained expression. He was known not to want to get involved in other people's love lives, especially his friends.

'Maybe, it just seems like he would have talked about it already. Maybe you're right, I have to go anyways. Classes start in ten.' Brandon said after a quick look at his wrist watch.

'Me too, come on I'll walk with you.'

'So this thing tonight, I don't have to be scared right?' the boy asked casually, and Dylan laughed but shook his head.

_**3.05 PM**_

David was running down a hallway filled with people. They were all talking under their breaths, all in a hurry similar to his. Gently he avoided hitting a young girl who looked like she was terrified at the several running people.

He almost smiled to himself, but he kept running. However, a figure standing underneath the shades of the outdoors hallway caught his attention and caused him to stop to a halt.

Valerie Malone was sipping on a soda and seemed to be deeply concentrated on the book in her hands as she stood leaned against one of the pillars. She was wearing that sundress he had seen her in a few weeks ago.

Not much made sense in their relationship, or lack thereof, right now, specially the part on whether or not they had any relationship to talk about.

Valerie was not an easy girlfriend to talk to on a good day, but lately there had been mostly very lousy days. They had gotten into a fight about a week ago, and since then both had worked hard at avoiding the other.

As far as David was concerned this was it. He would not stroll down that path again.

Still, something about her once more caught his eye and he could not help but watch. The sun was reflecting in her dark hair, and her blue eyes seemed to sparkle all the way to him. She had not yet noticed his presence, and with a sigh David kept walking.

He was meeting a record producer in a few minutes. After having landed the new school radio show with some help from Brandon in convincing the school board to let the students back on air after a drug bust last year against the former regulator, David had turned back to music and in his hand was the latest demo he had managed to get out.

Someone from a newly started recording company had heard about him and requested a meeting, something David Silver was not about to pass up that easily. Still, with Valerie fresh on his mind it was more than likely he would blow this one by not being focused enough.

As he arrived in one of the school cafeterias a man wearing a tidy black suit got his attention, and David walked slowly over to the otherwise un-occupied table. The man seemed to be sipping on some coffee and his suitcase carried a small label stating the name of the company.

'Mr Hedly?' he asked.

The man turned around in the chair, eyeing the young boy before him for a moment before reaching out his hand.

'Mr Silver I presume.' He said, nodding, while the two shook hands.

It was a confident hand shake, one that clearly sent the message 'no bullshit'. David smiled slightly, trying to hide the insecurity he felt bubbling.

'So I hear you are into the music business?' Mr. Hedly started the conversation.

The two men sat like that talking about various topics for over an hour. The way the other man was focusing directly on the business got David fairly comfortable after a while, and they decided to set up a more formal meeting later that week at the main office of the company.

With a content look on his face David stood up as they were saying their good byes and shook the other man's hand again.

'Thank you.' He said, and he meant it.

_**6.22 PM**_

Donna Martin was sitting on the sun chair outside in the patio of the beach house. The last rays of the day's light were warming up her body, and the sunglasses that shielded her eyes from view reflected the pink and red of the skies.

Yes Donna was wary of the day's events, and she was looking forward to a calm and peaceful evening mostly spent with herself.

Kelly and Claire would be out for some more hours, and the lonely girl on the patio was planning on making some dinner for herself in a little while, preferably in front of the television. There was a good show on today.

'_Don, come on talk to me.' Steve said, looking her straight in her eyes._

'_What do you want me to say?' Donna asked, challenging his gaze._

'_It isn't that hard to see something's wrong.' He explained, almost ashamed at having to be the one to confront her._

The conversation with Steve was still fresh in her mind. It sure was not that hard to see something was wrong.

Her body was frail, more so than usual, and her eyes slightly sunken from lack of sleep and heaps of worry. A scar along her arm showed the mark where she had broken it last spring for the Palm Springs event.

Brenda's silent could be easily seduced, but that did not leave much comfort with Donna.

Ray had come over last night again, causing Kelly to stare at her friend questioningly at breakfast.

It was getting so hard to live through those stares. It was the quiet more than the questions that pained Donna each day. The only person that had yet to start acting strangely around her was Brenda, and that too had a reason.

Last spring she had found Brenda waiting for her after the actual conference. The brunette had been at Donna's hotel door with a worried gaze.

'_Are you going down to the beach party?' Donna asked casually, too tiered to make a real effort at conversation._

'_No.' Brenda answered simply._

_Donna looked up, a little surprised at the edge in her friends voice. 'Is something wrong?' she asked confused, while fishing in her purse for the hotel key._

'_I was going to ask you that same question. Look Don, I'm not going to go around pretending everything is dandy when I can so clearly see that it isn't. Why are you denying that so forcefully, instead of letting those who love you help you, your friends.' _

_Brenda watched the blonde, expecting a reaction._

_Donna moved into the hotel room and motioned for Brenda to follow her._

'_So, what, you're hear to save me from my evil boyfriend?' Donna asked, frustrated with the turn of events._

'_Nothing like that. No one can or has to save you from anything, that's up to you. I'm here to listen, and if you want, then offer some advice.' Brenda explained kindly._

Brenda had certainly listened to a few tears, but her advice had fallen on deaf ears. Donna had begged her not to tell anyone else about what really happened. With a bit of dislike over the idea Brenda had agreed, but only as long as the other girl swore to tell her immediately if something like this ever happened again.

Who was she kidding, the relationship with Ray was anything but healthy.

'_I know you love him, but sometimes love isn't enough.' Steve said, watching the coffee._

'_And what do you know about love?' Donna shouted angrily._

She regretted many things, but somehow this time it seemed like her heart had taken a hiatus from functioning properly. Her mind was telling her how wrong it was but her heart still ached for him, his words of forgiveness penetrated her defense every time, and her logical part stood without weapons to fight him.

'_What are you still doing here?' Brenda asked. _

_Ray watched her, with defensive eyes. 'I forgot my guitar.' He explained._

'_Not good enough, we had a deal.' Brenda replied._

'_Oh, you again.' Valerie's voice sounded as she came up behind Brenda. 'I thought we kicked you out of here. Or do you prefer stairs?' _

Donna actually laughed out loud. The boy had left that night, with a confused and dazed expression on his face. She had been standing up by the balcony watching the scene. Something about it calmed her at the time, seeing her friends standing up for her.

Despite that she had yelled for a long time at Brenda the next time she saw her. It had not been fair, they both knew it, but Donna could not fight the anger she felt at the loss of her boyfriend.

Still, that was words for a lost cause since Ray was waiting for her by the beach house when she returned.

There was a glass of margarita resting on the wooden floor, and Donna picked it up with her slim fingers. Slowly she sipped the drink, feeling the alcohol work its numbing magic on her body.

As in one of those old Hollywood movies she felt her body succumb to the power of the drink, and leaned backwards to rest a little before she would head inside. Tonight was her night; no one would disturb her for another couple of hours.

Taking a refill and then drowning the glass in one sweep she sighed.

Yes, things certainly had changed for Donna Martin.

_**6.53 PM**_

Brenda was shuffling around in the kitchen, trying to find the right pot stirrer.

'What are you doing babe?' the voice of her boyfriend floated from the living room.

He had been in the process of setting up the table there so it would be ready for them to eat once Brandon arrived.

'I'm not even sure.' Brenda paused, drawing breath. 'I think I'm nervous.'

Dylan entered the small but homey kitchen and watched her intensely.

'What?' she asked after a while, as she realized she was in fact the object of his attentive gaze.

'Nothing, you're just very beautiful when you're panicking.' Dylan mocked her.

She glared a little at the man, before shrugging. 'Fine, but when he freezes from shock you're going to be the one he'll want to punch at.' She explained.

Dylan thought about this for a moment. 'I think he'll be happy. Just think about when Andrea got pregnant, and they were pretty close.' Dylan said meaningfully.

'I know, but that was different. That was an accident and this… Well, I guess you're right, but it doesn't stop me from worrying. I really want him to be okay with this, happy even.' Brenda sighed.

'Everything will be fine, he'll be fine with it. Come on, if everything goes well he'll be an uncle in nine months, how could he not be fine about that?' Dylan rationalized.

'But what if he isn't? I know mom and dad will have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea, they'll say it's too early since we're still in college and all, but I can't imagine what it would be like if Brandon was against it.' Brenda shook her head again. 'You know what, I'm sure you're right.'

'I always am Bren.' Dylan explained, pulling her into his arms and kissing her.

'I can't believe we're about to go through with this…' Brenda said, with a smile on her face this time.

'Bren, listen. Whatever happens tonight or any other night we'll stay together. You, me, and this baby. That's what's important, the rest will work out in its own way and time.' Dylan said.

She nodded. 'But it will work out much better without a burnt dinner.' Brenda smiled, kissed her boyfriend straight on the mouth, and turned to the pots and plates lined up on and around the stove.

At the same time the doorbell rang and Dylan made a move to leave. 'I'll get that. Are you ready?'

'Yes, bring him in. I'll be out with the food in a sec, although I could need some help to carry.' Brenda responded.

'You know, it's going to be alright.' Dylan assured her one last time before disappearing through the door into the hallway.

She heard voices as he opened the door, and laughter mingled with the two men talking. 'I know it will be D.' she said to herself, before adding much louder. 'Come on boys, the dinner won't bring itself in.'

After a few more moments of chatting in the hallway two heads popped through the door and into the kitchen.

Brenda had dropped the apron, and was standing with her hands on her hips watching them.

'Hi sis, brought dessert.' Brandon explained while walking up to place a kiss on her cheek. 'I thought you said it was take out?'

'Never underestimate a woman with a cause. She put me into slave labor and boom, there's dinner.' Dylan was telling Brandon, who laughed as Brenda threw a towel at her boyfriend.

'So what's the surprise?' Brandon asked raising an eyebrow.

'All in good time dear brother now carry this into the living room.' Brenda said loading the newly arrived man with a heavy pot.

After a few ifs and buts Brenda was once again left alone in the kitchen, a room which now seemed strangely intimidating in size.

She set her eyes on a collection of postcards that had ended up on a shelve over the dinner table where they usually ate. One of those cards showed Andrea and little Hanna as they waved from a New York background into the camera. Hanna was smiling shyly, and Andrea kept her arm securely around the little baby.

Brenda sighed. She had been day dreaming about having a baby with Dylan for almost as long as she had been dating him, which was all the way back to high school, but for it to suddenly have come true was just beginning to sink in.

She placed her hand over her stomach, expecting to feel something. Nothing came out of it, but she did walk away with a slight bit more confidence.

In the living room a fire was crackling in the corner and the boys had flipped on the television, but the sound was down and the main focus was a conversation on the future of the Peach Pit financially.

Brandon was as always a firm believer in the cafés continued success while Dylan was convinced Steve had a point when he wanted to put more funds into the After Dark.

Brenda sat down and started piling up her plate with the food, while Dylan opened the orange juice and poured three glasses.

With a quick sip her brother raised the glass in the air. 'To whatever it is this night is about.' He smiled and the three said 'cheers' and each drank some of the orange juice.

_**7.38 PM**_

Steve was walking down the sidewalk, and in his arms was a bundle of roses. His forehead was wrinkled from thought as he turned around to press the key chain and secure his Corvette.

The After Dark was filled with people, but it did not bother him. Not tonight at least.

At the door he saw Kelly. She was dressed in a deep blue neck strapped dress, and at her arm was some college boy she had met over the last weeks. However she was not what caught his attention.

That was another dame, standing currently at the bar. Her hair was let down, and even from the door Steve could tell her eyes glistened with sadness. How he hated seeing that.

'My love.' He whispered into her ear as he drew near enough, while he presented the roses in front of her.

'Oh, Steve.' She whispered back to him.

A small smile played on her lips, and Steve smiled back. 'Come on, let's dance.'

She raised her eyebrows, but shrugged. It was long past the moment when she had learnt to stop questioning everything her boyfriend did. 'Let's.' she responded instead.

The moment they tore up on the dance floor things felt as if they made sense again, at least for a short moment.

'Are you still leaving?' Steve asked.

'Don't do this, not tonight Steve.' Claire replied as her eyes locked with his.

'Where will this leave us?' he asked, confused but determined to keep questioning her.

'I'm not sure. I know I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too, but how long will that take us?' Steve pressed for answers, but he also pressed her body against his and she could not bring up the urge to get mad at him.

'Love only takes you that far Steve, the rest is up to us. And time.' She contemplated.

'I guess you're right.' Steve said softly.

'I'm always right you know. Come on, let's just dance now.' She said.

The couple stood like that, bodies pressed together while moving over the dance floor ever so slowly together with the music.

No one would have predicted the two lovers would soon be torn apart by forces created by themselves and others.

_**7.41 PM**_

Brandon was sitting on a table, his feet dangling over the edge. Something about the situation bothered him. They were all looking so uptight, very unlike his sister and Dylan McKay. In fact, they looked nervous.

When he had run into Brenda earlier that day he had not really been worried about whatever it was that they might want to tell him. Nevertheless a part of him had anticipated they would announce an engagement.

Still, he would have expected to see a ring on her finger, or maybe received some hints by now. So Brandon came to the conclusion that the problem regarded something else, and suddenly he was not so calm anymore.

Brenda scrutinized him, as if she was trying to interpret what he was thinking.

'Dinner was good.' He said, and she nodded absentmindedly, turning around as if afraid he would figure out whatever was going on by talking to her.

Dylan had left the room momentarily to leave the dishes in the kitchen. Unfortunately he was taking a long time dropping off the plates.

'What's going on with us, come on. We used to be able to talk about anything without getting awkward. I'm sure whatever the big news is will be fine, but this tension is killing me Bren.' Brandon said finally.

His sister actually sighed, almost relieved. 'I'm sorry, it's just hard for me too. I've been stalling to try and figure out the proper way of telling you this, but I guess there is no right or wrong at certain times.' She said. 'I just want Dylan here, then we'll let you out of your agony.'

'No agony, just nervousness.' Brandon said, throwing up his hands in defense. 'So are you happy?' he asked.

She looked at him, startled. 'Happy?' she asked.

'Yeah, big house big change…' he let it sink in for a while.

'More so than ever. I think this could be it Brandon, I really do.' Brenda was smiling broadly.

Suddenly he felt perfectly comfortable again. 'So what's it like living together?'

'You know that question is a little late, we've been doing it practically since we got back together.' Brenda said, looking down while sporting a slight blushing.

'What? You're blushing!' he said pointing at her and in response she threw a pillow at him.

'Do you ever think about how it was before, us living together… Sharing a bathroom at home?' Brenda asked.

'All the time, and I'm glad that isn't the case anymore.' Brandon grinned, and then paused. 'But you know that you can come home at any time, were something to happen. I don't mind sharing the bathroom occasionally. Plus, I guess I do miss you a little.'

'Thanks, that's good to know.' Brenda replied, squeezing her brother's hand.

'Alright, I'm back!' Dylan said. 'Hand's off my girlfriend.' He said, watching the two on the floor.

Brandon laughed and shook his head. 'So I was just pressuring your girlfriend to tell me what's going on.' He said, emphasizing the word _girlfriend_.

Dylan and Brenda exchanged a glance, and Brenda got to her feet nodding. 'It's time.' She said, a smile creeping at her features.

Brandon made himself comfortable by taking a seat in the couch.

'Well…' Dylan started. 'Like you might have figured out by now we have some news.' He explained.

'And we've discussed this thoroughly and come to the conclusion that we wanted you to be the first one to know.' Brenda continued.

'We're very happy about it, and are hoping you will be too.' Dylan finished.

'Right.' Brandon nodded. 'What is it?'

Brenda took a deep breath.

'Well…' she started, but paused momentarily to look at Dylan. He nodded, wrapping an arm loosely around her. 'We're pregnant.' She finished.

Brandon stared blankly at her. The suddenness of the announcement had gotten to him, and while his mind was telling him to react his body wasn't. 'Huh?' he managed to croax.

'We're having a baby Bran, you're going to be an uncle.' Brenda explained.

'You okay there B?' Dylan asked.

'I…' he stuttered. 'I'm going to be an uncle, how could I not be okay?'

'What did I tell you.' Dylan was mouthing at Brenda, who shoved him.

'I know this seems sudden, and it wasn't like we planned it or anything.' Brenda said.

'It just kind of happened, but we're happy it did, or at least I am in some strange way.' Dylan said.

'Yeah, me too. It's odd but it just feels so safe and right.' Brenda was saying.

'I'm sorry, I'm just recovering from taking everything in. It's amazing, great. My best friend and my sister are having a baby, and I can't find the words. It's great, I'm so happy for you guys.' Brandon was saying. 'Come here, I love you guys. Congratulations.' The man pulled the two others into a hug but then quickly pulled away.

'Can I do that, can I hug you? Does that…'

'Brandon, I'm pregnant not disabled. Yet…' Brenda replied.

'Right.' Brandon replied, a bit embarrassed.

'Thanks for your support, it means a lot Brando. Brenda was panicking about how you'd react all day.'

'I was not, Dylan!' Brenda said abashed. 'But he's right, thanks. It means so much that you're happy about this.'

'So I'm the only one who knows? Wow, I feel special.' Brandon said, smiling at them. 'That deserves another toast.' He lifted the glass of orange juice and provided re-fills for everyone in the room.

'To two amazing people, whom I love deeply and who will be wonderful parents. By the way, if it's a boy Brandon is an excellent name.' He raised an eyebrow, and drank with the others.

'We'll take that into consideration.' Brenda said, through laughter.

'When are you planning on telling the rest?' Brandon asked.

'Well, we wanted to tell the rest of Brenda's family, and then I've got to call Iris.' Dylan contemplated.

'I guess by the end of the week.' Brenda clarified, obviously a bit un-comfortable again.

'What about mom and dad? I mean I'll keep my mouth shut for as long as you need, but the sooner the better.' Brandon told the two.

'Yes, I know. That's why we were planning on going over there tomorrow.' Brenda said quietly, almost dropping her voice as if someone not supposed to be there might overhear.

For about half an hour more they talked about the baby news. Mostly about the doctor's appointment and when the first sonogram would be, as well as if they thought it was a boy or a girl. Brandon of course kept inferring they use his name, and Brenda laughed at him.

However, her brother's enthusiasm reminded her of a conversation she had with Dylan late yesterday night. They had been talking about the future, and what they would have to do before the baby would arrive. Firstly it needed godparents, and while she had not dared suggest it yet Dylan had brought up Brandon's name.

She smiled, watching her brother and her boyfriend bicker about some little detail. Then, though, the conversation turned.

For a moment they talked about Nat, and then Steve's odd behavior.

'I saw him today, he was having lunch with Donna I think.' Dylan noted.

'Really?' Brandon asked. 'I was supposed to see her tonight, before I got here. She's on the special project, with the fundraiser? She was a no-show though.' He complained.

'She didn't show up? That's not like Donna. She usually puts her heart into these things.' Brenda said worried.

'It's probably nothing, she might have just forgotten.' Brandon said, but Brenda watched him disbelievingly.

'Alright, so maybe it is something, but there isn't much you or anyone else can do about it if she doesn't want us to.' Dylan thought out loud.

Brenda was thinking, remembering a conversation she had with her friend when she had gotten back from Hawaii.

'_Brenda! I'm so glad you're back, Beverly Hills isn't the same without you.' Donna exclaimed, clapping her hands. 'Now tell me everything that's happened.'_

_The two girls sat down on the chairs outside the beach house. It was early morning, and the sand stretching out before their eyes was just beginning to fill up with people. Mostly it was surfers taking advantage of the otherwise empty morning water._

'_Well, it's a long and short story at the same time. Nothing happened, but it feels like we did everything there is to do. It was amazing Don, Hawaii is so beautiful.' Brenda was saying._

'_Where did you stay?' Donna asked._

'_Mostly at Iris guest house, and it was really nice actually.' Brenda hastened to add the last part as she saw Donna's disbelieving expression._

'_Was Dylan okay with that?' she said surprised._

'_Yes, well I had to persuade him in the beginning but we turned out to have a wonderful time there. I think he really re-connected with his mother.' Brenda explained. 'He talked a lot about Jack with her, and I think that helped him. He misses him so much.' She finished sadly._

_Donna looked at her, smiling a sad sort of smile._

'_What?' Brenda asked._

'_You and Dylan are so adorable. I wish I could find that. You know, you both work so hard at helping each other, at making the other one happy, and it works.' Donna said._

'_You'll find it, I'm pretty sure it's just around the corner.' Brenda said. 'I'm just happy to see you doing well.' _

_Their conversation was interrupted at that point, by a man making his way up the stairs._

_The rugged face of Ray Pruitt met Brenda and Donna where they sat, and the latter stood up. _

'_Hi.' She said slightly uncomfortable._

'_Morning.' Ray replied, bending down to kiss the girl._

_Brenda, who had been about to scold him for coming there, was so surprised she sat back down._

_Donna turned around, and mouthed 'sorry' to her friend, who smiled weakly in return._

'_Hi Brenda.' Ray said._

'_Good Morning Ray, how are you?' she replied._

'_Much better, thanks.' _

'Have any of you seen Ray lately?' Brenda asked.

'No, not really. Kelly said he came by the beach apartment last night though, I guess he and Donna were fighting and they kept the other two girls up.'

Brenda sighed.

'What's wrong babe?' Dylan asked.

'I wish… She deserves a lot better you know.' Brenda replied.

'You know you never explained why you disliked Ray so much. I thought you started out liking him.' Dylan said quietly.

'I know, but things change. He isn't a good guy.' Brenda said mysteriously, before turning around to walk out. 'I need to use the bathroom.' She said before anyone made an attempt to follow her.

'What was that about?' Brandon asked.

'She gets like that every time someone mentions Ray Pruitt.' Dylan said.

'When did it start? Maybe we can work this out on our own.' Brandon proposed.

'Around after Palm Springs.'

'When Donna was holding that speech!' Brandon remembered.

'No, after she fractured her arm.' Dylan said, thinking hard.

The two boys stared at each other. 'You don't think…' Dylan let it hang in the air.

_**8.05 PM**_

Donna sat in front of the TV, wearing her night gown and with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. Some old black and white movie was on, but she felt more comfortable than in a long time.

The people moving about before her on the screen did not intimidate her as much as the real people that would soon be stumbling in here.

Kelly was out at a party with Claire and Steve. Something about Claire leaving, Donna did not remember the details. They had asked if she wanted to join them, but the opportunity of some time to herself was too good to pass up.

With a shiver she sat up straighter and pulled the comforter around her. It was getting cold, especially since their heating system was out of order.

The landlord had promised to take a look at it first thing next week, when he got back from visiting some friends.

She shivered again when the phone rang. For a while she contemplated whether or not to answer it.

Then curiosity and annoyance got the better of her, and with frail fingers she picked it up.

'Hello?' she whispered into the receiver.

'Hi there.' It was the happy voice of David Silver. 'So guess what happened to me today?'

'You met a grizzly bear and fell madly in love and now you're getting married?' Donna said.

'Close, and very clever, but no. I had a meeting with this guy from Gennis recording company.' David explained.

'That's great David!' Donna said enthusiastically.

'Yeah, and what's better is that he like the demo I gave him and scheduled a meeting downtown with the producers.' David said.

He continued explaining to her about the actual meeting earlier that day, and Donna listened with interest. Occasionally she would interrupt him with a laugh or an 'I'm so proud of you David.'

This felt good, talking to him again.

'Are you all alone there?' he asked.

'Yeah, the others are at the Peach Pit After Dark.' She explained, surprised at the sadness in her own voice.

'Do you want some company?' David asked. 'There's a good movie on.'

'The black and white one? I'm watching it already.' Donna giggled.

'Me too. Just say the world and I'll bring yoghurt for the popcorn.'

Donna thought about the idea for a while, and felt the strange warmth in her chest as a sign.

'Yes, I would like that. I can put on some coffee too.' She replied.

'Sounds good, see you in five minutes.' He replied. 'Bye Don.'

'Bye David, and…' she paused.

'Yeah?' he asked, almost worried.

'Thank you.'

'No problem.'

_**8.13 PM**_

David Silver was getting into his car with two bags of groceries. He had stopped to buy some yoghurt for Donna, but ended up picking up some fruit, a bottle of wine, and a whole lot of chocolate bars as well. This night he felt like celebrating, but strangely enough when Kelly had called to invite him over to the After Dark he had not wanted to come, in fact he had declined to tell her the big news.

When he picked up the phone and dialed Donna's number he was still not sure why. When her voice answered something in his mind settled and he told her everything. Moreover, it felt good to let her in on the secret.

With a smile on his lips he started off down the dark Beverly Hills street, being stopped almost immediately by a red light.

_**10.03 PM**_

Kelly Taylor was watching her friends as they slow danced for the fifty eight or something time.

Her date had turned out to be a lousy dancer, and she was standing by the bar with a bored look on her face waiting for something, anything, to happen.

Then the doors swung open, and none other than Valerie Malone entered.

Something had happened, granted, but she had kind of been hoping for anything else than this.

'Why hello Kelly, are you alright there?' the smug girl asked as she approached.

'Peachy, you?' Kelly retorted.

'Quite alright actually. It turns out that I just passed my exam. I came over to celebrate, wanna join me for a drink?' she asked.

Kelly was a little surprised at this gesture of friendliness. 'What's the catch?' she asked.

'No catch, I'm just bored and alone. Drinking like that is quite sad, so any company will do.' Val said.

Kelly watched the other girl. 'If you're buying the drink.'

Valerie contemplated the proposal momentarily, then waved at the bartender. With confident voice she ordered. Then she looked sideways at Kelly.

'…and anything for this lady here.' She said.

'Thank you.' Kelly replied, before placing an order.

Valerie stood there, watching the blonde. 'So what's with Sanders and Claire?'

'It's not my place to tell you.' Kelly started, but then changed her mind. 'But Claire's leaving for a while, and Steve's been upset about it.'

'I can see that. You know you're good at keeping secrets.' Valerie joked, causing Kelly to laugh into her drink.

'Yes, well I do my best.' She replied.

'I think they'll pull through. Red head will come back and they'll be happy ever after.' Valerie drawled, slightly bored.

'Maybe…' Kelly said.

'What about that dweep you came with?' Val asked.

'Nah, he couldn't dance.' Kelly said sadly.

'You know we are a lot more alike than you'd think.' Valerie said.

'You think?' Kelly looked worried, this time causing Val to laugh.

'Yes, I do, but I think you're doing a hard job hiding it. You're a little like Brenda too.' She said.

Kelly watched her. 'How is it that you and Brenda became such good friends?' it was a question that she had been wanting to ask since she had first gotten to know Valerie.

The other girl hesitated for a while.

'To tell you the truth, I don't know. I guess we just got each other at a time when others didn't, and then we didn't change as much as society seems to think we did. At least I didn't, and I think she's still that same girl she's always been at heart. We still get each other, you know?' Valerie said.

'I can see that. Well, sort of. I really can't actually, but I guess I just never saw that side of Brenda.' Kelly said.

'Maybe, or maybe that's why you became friends with her in the first place?' Valerie let the statement hang in the air for a while. 'I have to get going, it was nice talking to you.' She smiled and put down her now empty drink. Kelly followed suit.

'Bye Val.' She said, and the other girl nodded, before starting to move away through the crowd of people.

_**10.13 PM**_

The singing had just stopped. It was crowded in the room, and the dj was starting up another tune. Steve drew a breath.

Somehow it seemed like if he could keep her there, in his arms, dancing for the rest of the night she would never have to leave.

Claire however knew better, and sighed against her boyfriend's shirt.

'Steve, I'm tiered.' She said, carefully.

He knew what she was getting at, but nevertheless he kept dancing. 'I know.' He whispered into her head.

'I'm going to have to pack tomorrow.' She continued.

'I now' he repeated again.

'Thank you for tonight, really, it got my mind off things.' Claire continued.

Steve just nodded.

'I'll call you everyday you know.' She whispered.

'Will it be enough?' he replied.

'I don't know.' She admitted.

The conversation stopped, and yet a new song came on. They had been moving across the dance floor, back and forth. The questions piled up during the day seemed to slip away after that phone call.

Claire had left a message, or several as a matter of fact, on Steve's machine, and the last one proposed a meeting tonight.

After thinking it through, and after reminiscing about his earlier conversation with the heart broken Donna, Steve had decided to let go whatever grudge he held against his girlfriend for laying this sudden news onto him and come with her to the After Dark.

The people around them were getting fewer, but it still seemed clear that business was going well.

For a while ago Steve thought he had seen Valerie and Kelly sharing a drink, something he later wrote off as having danced too much in the daze of crowd.

He then remembered his breakfast with Brandon. He owed his friend an apology for the bad company.

'Do you want to head back home?' he asked Claire.

She did not answer immediately, but pondered the question for a while. Then she said, in a whispering tone of voice 'Not yet, I want to dance until the songs stop.'

Who was he to argue?

_**12.01 AM**_

Donna and David were curled up underneath the comforter with their eyes focused straight ahead. They had been watching a scary movie for the past hour, and the intensity of the plot kept them pressed against each other.

David had wrapped a secure arm around his friend, and Donna would occasionally hide her face in his arms to avoid the scariest scenes.

It was a fairly new movie, and she had recognized an actress in the beginning. At first she was convinced she had been mistaken, but as the woman once more appeared on the screen in the middle of the film there was nothing to be mistaken about. It was Brenda Walsh vainly trying to talk to a serial killer holding a gun.

Donna had jumped over the phone and called the Walsh-McKay household, surprisingly enough Brandon Walsh had been the one to answer. After a quick conversation Brenda admitted that she had shot the film while in London for the summer. It had been a B movie, but at least it got some promotion, and filled out her CV.

Donna had a different opinion. She thought it was a hell of a frightening movie. The plot may not have been very intricate, but it did scare her a little bit.

There were some sounds from the door, and someone opened it. Donna and David however remained oblivious to any outside events.

'Hello, are you still awake Don?' Kelly asked as she stretched on the way into her best friend's bedroom.

There, in the door way, she stopped. With a surprised look on her face she took in the scene before her.

'We're watching a movie, Brenda's in it but I don't think any of her scenes are left.' David explained.

It was true, Brenda's role had been small and after a few conversations she had vanished.

'Wow, that's cool. Is it any good?' Kelly replied, moving into the room a little so she could watch the screen too.

'It's scary.' Donna said, not really giving her friend the full attention.

'I can imagine, it's called _The return of the Bloody Frankenstein_.' Kelly read off the TV guide.

'Yeah yeah.' Donna brushed her off.

After watching the two for a moment Kelly shook her head and headed for the door. 'Well, good night you two and enjoy the movie. David, if you don't want to drive home this late you can take the couch. I'll pull out some bed sheets.'

'Thank you Kel.' David replied, waving his hand at her.

_**12.04 AM**_

Brenda cuddled closer to Dylan, holding one hand over her stomach.

'So tonight went well.' Dylan said.

She nodded. 'Aha. Thank you for keeping me calm.'

'No problem Bren.'

'I love you.' She whispered.

'I love you too.' Dylan replied, and kissed her forehead briefly.

The couple quickly drifted off to a heavy sleep in each others arms, with the alarm clock set for early next morning and another day of school.


	3. Kisses in the Dark

**Memories of a Rainy Day**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the origional characters or plot, I do however own any fictional characters added by me personally (DarkFlames)for the plot of the story at hand, and the titles, story, and all else that belongs to the fictional non-profit story that is 'Memories of a Rainy Day'

**Chapter summary:** Well, for me the title says it all. So just read it... Kisses in the dark, because sometimes darkness can turn into light. And sometimes it does not. Two months have passed, christmas is drawing near. Brenda and Dylan have their sonogram, Kelly has a confession to make, Brandon is otherwise confused and absent, Donna and David... Well they are Donna and David, sharing moments, and Donna shares the moments with Brenda, should Claire trust Steve, where is David living, is the bloody frankenstein really a movie, and Valerie is plotting the question is only what!

**A/N**: thank you for all the support! You reviewers are wonderful, all my love to you!

**_Chapter three, Kisses in the Dark_**

There would be no tears, she thought defiantly while walking down the isle, her head held high and her hands clutching onto the single red rose. Her hair was let down, with only a few strands pulled back into a clean bun kept together with a few pins.

Her make up was flawless, the pale of her skin toned by the dark around her eyes. The heels made small sounds against the church floor, but it was her dress that caught the attention as it clung to her body.

A strapped gown, very simple and without anything extraordinary, like a cleavage or pearls. It ran down past her knees and to match it she wore a beautiful bracelet her brother had gotten her, the silver sparkling in the candle lights.

She did not cry, nor tremble. The only sign of frailty was the slight quiver of her lip and the way she held her breath for long intervals. But then again, almost no one noticed those little things.

The rose slipped out of her hand, falling from the grip of her fingers. As it hit the surface in the deep brown color she sighed. Then, with grace, her body turned and she begun walking back to her seat as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

**_December 20th, 12.09 PM_**

Brenda was dangling her feet where she sat on the hospital bed. She kept an eye on the now empty monitor, suspiciously arching an eyebrow to get a clear view at all the buttons and switches around it.

A nurse had led her and Dylan into this room, saying the doctor would be right along. That had been ten minutes ago.

Dylan was moving around the room a little annoyed at the fact that they had to wait but mostly nervous about the examination. Brenda smiled a little as she watched him. He had been up almost all night studying for an exam he had sat through this morning, and she felt confident it had gone quite well.

'Honey, sit down.' She whispered, and stretched out her right arm against him.

He stopped pacing the floor and simply looked at her.

'I'm sorry.' Was his only response and then he grasped her hand gently, intertwining it with his fingers.

He was wearing one of those grey hooded shirts that zipped. His eyes were tiered though, and his hair un-tamed. She loved it like that.

'Dylan, are you nervous?' she asked carefully.

With a small creeping smile he watched her. 'Nah… Okay a little bit. I just can't believe we're here. Of all people, of all times.' He said coaxing an eyebrow.

'I know. I feel that way too.' She replied. 'Wonder when that doctor's coming.'

He let out a little laugh.

'Hopefully before I starve.' He said.

'You? What about me?' Brenda said abashed.

'Well what about you?' he laughed. 'I'll treat you to anything you want after this.'

'Good, because I've got big plans.' She responded.

'Really?' he asked, sounding a little worried but smiling all the same.

At that very moment a doctor entered the room, not looking up to view the couple.

'Mr. And Mrs. Walsh?' the woman asked, closing the door behind her.

'No, not Mr. And Mrs. And it's Walsh-McKay.' Brenda explained.

The woman looked at them for the first time, raising an eyebrow inquiringly.

'We're not married.' Dylan clarified.

'Right.' The doctor said, apparently quite un-interested.

Brenda fought the urge to dislike the woman immediately, and sat in silence for a while. The doctor moved about the room picking up some objects and moving the big screen.

They had been putting off this moment for some time now.

'I'm doctor McGyver. A lot of people make fun of my name, I dislike that. I am nothing like the TV boy.' She said quite sternly.

'No, it's a lovely name.' Brenda said a little confused, but Dylan squeezed her hand and she could see he was covering a smile.

'Well, we're going to do a sonogram, hopefully everything will look fine and you can walk away from here with the first picture of your baby. I have some standard questions about the pregnancy so far, since Doctor Carter only forwarded parts of the file. She's very sorry she couldn't be here by the way.' McGyver said.

'Oh no, that's alright. She deserves that vacation.' Brenda replied.

'Certainly does.' The doctor drew a breath, and finally stopped moving around. She was sitting on a chair in front of Brenda who was up right on the bed.

'Now, has there been any problems so far?' the doctor asked.

'Nothing really, just a little nausea at times but I guess that's normal.' Brenda said thinking. 'And Doctor Carter assigned me something for my anemia.'

'Yes, you are quite pale.' The doctor noted.

'She's always been pale as snow, first we thought that was just because she was from Minnesota. Guess it's in the genes.' Dylan explained.

The doctor nodded approvingly. 'Well, as long as you stay away from too much manual labor.'

'I act, so I'm on stage a lot. That can't be dangerous can it?' Brenda asked, worried.

'Not at all, as long as you listen carefully to your body's reactions and signals.' She explained.

'Okay.' Brenda replied, holding Dylan's hand against her chest.

'Now if you could just roll up your blouse a little, I'm going to put this onto your stomach. It's going to feel a little cold against the skin but it doesn't hurt at all.' The doctor explained.

'Right.' Brenda pulled up the red shirt that was one of her favorites; a collared button shirt she had purchased many years ago.

'I'm right here babe.' Dylan said, smiling comfortingly.

'Thank you.' She responded.

It felt like cold water, or perhaps like when some snow got under your sweater, but that feeling soon vanished and the cool liquid felt relaxing against her skin.

'Now the picture is going to come up right… here.'

Indeed, like magic, a black and white image appeared before the proud parents. There was a small sound too, rhythmic beats.

'That's the baby's heartbeats.' The doctor explained. She then lifted her hand and begun pointing out parts of the picture to them. 'Here's the head, and that's the body.'

'Brenda, it's beautiful.' Dylan said, looking at loss for words.

'He or she is perfect.' Brenda replied, equally taken by the event.

'I quite agree, the heartbeat is strong and steady, everything else looks fine. Since this is your first pregnancy you might soon start feeling some tingling sensations that could seem spooky, but it's just the baby starting to move. Probably not within another couple of month's though.'

'You mean like kicking?' Brenda asked.

'Exactly, but that will probably take some time. Right now the baby is still in the first stages of growth.' The doctor commented.

'Do we get a picture?' Brenda asked, excited.

'Of course, I could also give you a hint as to the sex of the baby…' Doctor McGyver let the words hang in the air.

Brenda and Dylan looked at each other. They had discussed this on their way in, but come to a mutual decision.

'We like surprises.' Brenda clarified.

Well, perhaps not entirely mutual, but Dylan smiled a little at his witty girlfriend and nodded.

'You heard the lady.' He added.

Not that he was not much of a 'surprise person' other than the fact that he ordinarily hated them, but while they had been sitting in his Porsche he had come to remember some surprises from the past.

Like when Brenda had shown up at his doorstep that summer after the Baja incident, or how he ran into her at the Peach Pit when she came home from Minnesota. Then of course there was the time he stopped her at the airport and proposed… Even if she did not say yes it still had a big effect on their entire relationship. And his life…

'Just stay right here and I'll go fill out some paper work. When I come back I'll answer any questions you or Mr. Walsh-McKay here might have.' The doctor explained, with her first hint of a smile.

Brenda did not bother to correct her, and neither, it seemed, did Dylan.

They were left alone in the room with the image before them, a still this time as the doctor had cleaned off Brenda's stomach from the sticky moisture.

'I think you did fine this morning, in the test.' Brenda said, the calmness of the picture reminding her of the nervousness she had seen on Dylan all morning.

'What test?' Dylan asked absentmindedly, and then shrugged. 'I think so too. See, I have the world's most gorgeous girlfriend as inspiration remember?'

'And the world's luckiest baby.' Brenda added. 'We can do this, right?'

'We not only can, but we will and we'll be amazing at it. I love you.' Dylan kissed her.

'I love you too Dylan McKay. I can't believe it, we're having a baby.' Brenda said cooingly.

_**1.37 PM**_

'I can't believe it! Brenda and Dylan are having a baby!' Kelly said, astounded.

'Neither can I, but they seem happy.' Donna replied.

The latter watched as her friend removed the coffee pot from the heater.

'Are you okay with it? I mean, I know you and Dylan had something special going there.'

'It's not so much that, it's everything else. Really, I'm happy for him and Brenda. They deserve some happiness.' She added the last part sincerely.

'Than what is it?' Donna asked casually.

'Well, you would scold me if you knew.' Kelly said, this time her voice faded towards the end and she looked almost scared.

'No, why? Come on Kelly, you have to tell me otherwise I can't talk to you about it.' Donna figured.

'I know, but promise you won't tell anyone.' She said, looking around the apartment.

'Kel, there's no one else here. I promise that whatever you have to tell me will never leave these walls.' Donna said, growing impatient.

'I slept with Brandon Walsh.' Kelly said very quickly, then closed her eyes as if worried about the reaction.

Donna felt her mouth fly open, and covered it with her hand to hide the surprise.

'I told you!' Kelly added.

'Well, I mean, this is… When?' Donna could not resist the curiosity.

'A couple of nights ago, right after the gala dinner.' Kelly clarified.

'Right… I can't believe it, you and Brandon. About time.' Donna smiled smugly.

'What's that supposed to mean? This is not good, no, in fact it's bad. Very bad!' Kelly emphasized.

'Why does it have to be?' Donna asked.

'Because! We decided to leave it, to stay friends. It isn't worth it.' Kelly cried.

'But what if it is? You never tried… At least not a decent effort, this was the first time you slept with him!' Donna shouted.

'Look who's talking.' Kelly retorted.

'Yes, but you're different. Not sleeping with a guy after a summer of dating is not a good sign with you.' Donna replied, kindly.

'I know, but he's just so sweet and perfect and… Donna I think I love him.' Kelly sighed. 'What's wrong with me.'

'I think you're adorable.' She paused. 'Have you talked to him? Since that night?' Donna demanded, shocked.

'Not really. I've been avoiding him at school.' Kelly admitted. 'It's killing me, I don't know what to do.'

Donna scrutinized her.

'How was it?'

'Was what?' Kelly asked confused.

'The sex part, how was it?' Donna demanded.

After a small blush, Kelly smiled. 'It was amazing, I've never had anything like that happen to me. It felt like being run over by a train but at the same time it was everything I'd always wanted. He was amazing.'

'And you think you're in love with him?'

Kelly nodded.

'Well, we know it's Brandon too, so there's no worries he's really a stalking psychopath who does drugs and can't dance.' Donna paused. 'Well, I suppose you can live with that last part.'

'If you're asking if he's Chris, then no.' Kelly said smiling. 'But what am I supposed to do?'

Donna walked across the room to the table by the sofa. There she picked up the chord less phone and tossed it to Kelly. 'You call him, and you tell him you're madly in love with him and need him to come over right away.'

'Is that what you did with Ray?' Kelly smiled shyly.

Donna hesitated. 'Let's not pull Ray into this.' She added a sarcastic spin to it so that Kelly took it as a joke, still Donna's heart raced a little at the mention of his name and it was hardly in a good way. She covered the sad look on her face quickly, and watched as Kelly weighed the phone in her hand.

'Well go on then, call him. Remember, it's Brandon.' Donna encouraged her friend.

'I know. That's what worries me. It's Brandon, how will things ever go back to what they were if we don't work out?'

'They did with Dylan, didn't they? By the way, it's a little late for that. You're going to have to talk to him about the other night either way, or it will get awkward anyhow. It's up to you if you want to take a chance with him.' Donna looked at the other girl momentarily. 'Remember, he's one of the good guys. You know he cares.'

Kelly nodded, blushing a little again, and moved out of the room with a shy smile on her face. 'I'll call from my bedroom.' She called behind her.

Donna waved her hand and nodded.

The conversation stirred up another memory close by, one that involved Donna herself.

She shrugged, the fear of telling her boyfriend about the incident was not what made her keep quiet about it, rather it was the way she felt about what had happened.

The taste of David's lips was still fresh on hers, which was strange since it had been days since the last time they kissed.

Nevertheless they had kissed, and it had been wonderful. The only problem being that they were, or rather she was, otherwise engaged.

The relationship with Ray was, granted, deteriorating but that did not stop her from feeling a certain amount of guilt for her deeds. It somehow did not seem right to fool around behind Ray's back, even if she no longer considered their relationship to hold the future she once had hoped.

The only problem was her remaining feelings for Ray.

Their long run together had left her burnt out, but also with an aching heart. She could no longer tell if it was love or sympathy, or even fear. Some part of her still could not bare the thought of what he would do if she walked out on 'them'. Another part was tiered, oh so very tiered.

Just a few nights ago she had visited Brenda's and the two girls had sat up until the wee hours simply talking.

'_Are you alright?' Brenda asked, seeing the wary gaze the other girl was currently pointing at the television._

'_Huh, yes… I'm sorry, my mind drifted off elsewhere.' Donna excused herself._

'_No, don't worry about it. I'm just concerned for my best friend.' Brenda replied carefully. 'Is it Ray?' _

'_More complicated than that.' Donna admitted._

_The girls helped themselves to some more ice cream before Donna started talking again._

'_I can't help but feel a little guilty…'_

'_Over what?' Brenda asked._

'_Well, I'm not sure I love him anymore. In fact I'm not sure I ever did, but then again I have always thought that cheating was something I would never resort to. I mean that's how David and I broke up last time.' Donna complained._

'_Last time? As in there is a new time?' Brenda jumped at the line._

'_Maybe, I don't know. We've been getting kind of close again lately.' Donna admitted._

'_So I've noticed, but you feel obligated to Ray?' Brenda asked._

'_Well, yes I supposed you could say that. I'm just not sure, and that's what drives me crazy.' Donna said sighing._

'_I know honey, but you know what; eventually your heart will make up its mind and then all you have to do is follow its orders. Until then, go with your intuition. You know I'm the first in line to speak my mind on Ray, and it ain't always pretty, but if you love him so be it, however if your heart is with David Silver then you've got to be loyal to those feelings.' Brenda paused, watching her friend._

_Donna looked at her. 'But I'm with Ray…'_

'_Yes, that's true in the rule book… But love never follows rules, and the only one you've got to be loyal to is yourself. I know you Donna Martin, just follow your heart.'_

Donna sighed, and poured herself some coffee.

_**3.09 PM**_

Steve pulled up the car in the school's parking lot. His gas meter was almost empty and he sighed, annoyed with himself for not noticing sooner.

In his passenger seat a paper, due for his last course of the day, was waiting for his attention. It was only finished this morning, and was not everything he might have hoped for.

Still, he had a valid excuse. Well, perhaps not valid, but it happened.

Some part of last night still stayed with him, and like a movie clip it repeated itself in his mind.

'_Come on Steve, I know you want to.' Val's seducing voice tore through his defenses._

'_Vixen.' He replied, but pulled her close nonetheless and kissed her deeply._

With a shake of his head the image was gone, but the memory remained. As did the hickey on his throat, currently covered by a turtle neck…

'Sanders, good day to you…' David Silver's voice tore through the thoughts.

'Silver.' Steve replied, but without the normal enthusiasm.

The sight of his friend only added to the guilt. Up until last week David and Valerie had been an on again off again couple, and everyone knew it.

Everyone knew it and respected that, everyone except Steve Sanders who himself was attached to someone currently not in the near proximity of sunny Beverly Hills.

Claire… That name had emerged several times over the past twenty four hours.

He shook his head. This was all giving him a nasty head ache.

'Do you have classes?' he asked, trying to make conversation with the awaiting David while locking his car.

Disbelieving David stared at him. 'Steve, we're in the same class. You told me to wait for you at the parking lot.' He explained, slightly bored but not as surprised as might be expected.

'Sorry, a lot on my mind. Thanks for waiting.'

'Yeah, no problem. I have a shift on the radio afterwards and no material.' David sighed, and then launched into a long explanation on how his CD collection mysteriously had vanished during the renovation of his home.

David had been staying with Steve in the latter's newest apartment. The friends had stopped living together after only weeks, however, since the combination did not work out of several reasons.

David landed an un-used room at a beach apartment on the bottom floor under Donna's and Kelly's for the last week of living out of his own home.

The two girls were in fact in a slight financial problem what with Claire out of time for the rest of the semester and no one interested in renting temporarily.

'So I went there earlier today, and it's all a mess.' David finished.

'Tough…' Steve agreed, although it was clear from his voice he had hardly been paying any attention. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a flash made him pull David up against the corner and hide.

'What are you doing?' David asked, annoyed.

After a double check Steve drew a breath of relief. 'Nothing.' He said. 'Nothing at all.'

'Fine…' David replied, and brushed off his clothes.

Having just passed down the stairs in front of them Valerie Malone paused to straighten her dress.

_**4.35 PM**_

Brandon was sitting on the side of the bed, staring into space.

Kelly was sitting behind him, looking equally shocked.

'So, what happens now?' she asked, carefully.

'I take you out to dinner.' Brandon replied confidently, turning around. 'That is, if you'll let me.' He added, raising an eyebrow.

The girl sat still momentarily, looking like she was considering the proposal. 'It'll have to be some place fancy, expensive.'

'You'll be lucky with McDonalds' Brandon laughed, and threw a stuffed animal at her.

Kelly laughed back at him, confidence glowing through her voice.

'Why didn't we do this sooner?' she asked, as he landed on top of her.

With a shallow kiss he looked into her eyes. 'We were fools.' He said mock seriously. Then he bent down and engaged the two of them in a quite passionate kiss.

'Oh Brandon…' Kelly said through laughter and kisses.

'Oh Kel.' He responded.

_**11.33 PM**_

'Brenda!' Dylan called from the bathroom. 'Bren.' He added.

The lack of response from his girlfriend worried him to the degree that he stepped out of the shower. There, however, a surprise met him.

'Well don't get out yet. I was just about to join you.' The very naked Brenda Walsh proclaimed a little disgruntled.

'Wouldn't want to upset you.' Dylan whispered.

'No, you wouldn't.' Brenda whispered back, smiling.

_**11.48 PM**_

'Steve?' the timid voice of Valerie Malone assured him this was not a dream.

She rolled over in the bed, placing her arm across his body. 'What's wrong?' she asked, but there was no real worry in her voice.

'You know very well.' Steve answered calmly, but made no attempt to move.

'Well then, looks like you've got yourself a problem.' she admitted.

'Indeed.' Steve paused. 'Do you actually enjoy this? Bringing problems to other people, just because you can?' he asked.

She did not miss a beat. 'Well if I remember it right, it takes two to tango Steve.'

End of conversation.

_**2.54 PM the next day**_

Brenda walked down the hallway of the school, her bag thrown over her shoulder and spilling over with books.

She had just finished her class, but would have to stay at the school for a rehearsal at four o clock. Dylan would be picking her up afterwards, and he had promised her dinner at the Peach Pit.

The only problem was what to do with the remaining hour and six minutes. She cast a look at her wrist watch and thought about heading for the library, get some reading done.

Then a boy, sitting with his head buried in his hands on a bench along the almost empty path, caught her attention. Most students were either in class or off school property at the moment, and there was no one except the two of them nearby.

She recognized the boy, he was about her age. He was a pretty boy, with the softest facial features and that warm friendly way of speaking. At the Academy in London they had been friends over the summer, after a chance encounter at a rehearsal.

'Dean?' she asked, as she came to a stop just beside him.

He looked up, a little surprised, and watched her. 'Brenda?' he replied after a while, a familiar smile dawning on his features. 'It's been ages, how have you been?'

'Good… Pregnant. You?' she replied.

He laughed briefly, but then turned serious. 'Congratulations, I'm happy for you.' He said, motioning towards her stomach. She smiled back.

'Thank you.'

'Well, I've been around. I got a scholarship to a drama program at a school in LA, but ended up here at CU. Roy Randolph is putting up this play, and I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to work with him.' He explained.

'Yes, I'm in that play.' Brenda explained, interested. 'Can I sit down?' she added, motioning towards the empty space beside him at the bench.

Dean nodded, seemingly happy to have some company to take his mind of whatever it had been occupied with before. 'The lead I bet. So you didn't stay in the Royal academy?'

The thing was that he not only had become her friend over that summer, but also set her up for the first movie role she ever did. Not that it was a big part, or that she had even considered auditioning at first, but then he asked her to try it as a favor to the director who in turn happened to be Dean's good friend putting up his first movie to be released.

Just after she accepted the role Dean got a lead in a play up north, and left for Scotland. After that they simply had had not stayed in touch.

'No, it that feels like such a long time ago. I came back to stay here with my boyfriend, remember.' Brenda reminisced.

'Is he the lucky guy?' Dean asked, referring to her pregnancy.

Brenda nodded. 'Yes, fortunately it all worked out well. Now tell me, what role are you auditioning for?'

The two talked a little about the play and drama education at CU and other schools. With about forty minutes left Brenda offered to help him hone his skills before the audition. Eagerly Dean agreed and the two started walking towards a big building a little aside from the main part of the school.

It would be empty except for the stage workers and perhaps some of the producers by the main set right now, and Brenda had convinced Dean that they could be fairly alone in the make-up lounge to practice his lines.

As it turned out he was going for a co-starring role with the auditioning scene being played out against Brenda's character, Fiona.

The play itself was based on a seventeenth century novel but re-written for a modern set.

'In here.' Brenda motioned towards a door with a empty name tag and a bundle of flowers hanging down.

_**4.59 PM**_

Dylan was sitting by the shore, with his hands buried in the warm sand and his surf board next to him.

'Hi there…' the light voice of Kelly Taylor interrupted his thoughts.

'Hello.' He replied, providing a nod and then turning back to watching the ocean.

'Can I join you?' she asked.

He nodded. 'Sure, knock yourself out.'

She laughed, light heartedly. 'Someone's in a mood.' She added.

'I may have flunked a history exam.' Dylan confided.

'Why would you think that? I'm sure you did fine.' Kelly said.

He paused momentarily. 'I don't know, maybe it's all just in my head. Bren keeps telling me that I did fine too, I'm just not so sure I can believe her. I should have worked a little harder.'

'I didn't know this was so important to you, I thought you weren't that big on school.' Kelly replied a little surprised.

'Don't judge a book by its cover. Or the first few chapters…' Dylan said, smirking slightly.

She smiled in return, and Dylan turned to look at her. The golden blond hair glistened in the low sun light and her intense blue eyes reminded him of the waves of the water. Still, there was something troubled or worried over her outlook.

'Is everything alright with you?' he asked.

She did not answer immediately, but turned to meet his gaze briefly. She shook her head. 'I'm not sure yet.' She admitted.

'Want to talk about it?' Dylan asked.

It was funny how they had come to be who they were today, he thought, after everything that had happened to all of them.

For a moment he tried to remember being together with Kelly, and like so many times before wondered if things would have been different had he not broken up with her outside the hospital that day when she went to visit new mother Andrea, or perhaps if he had kissed Brenda already when she came home from Minnesota and they went fishing by the pier.

The beauty of the girl sitting beside him radiated around them, and there was no denying she was an amazing woman today. She always had been, and he had seen it long since. However, their relationship had been filled with ups and downs, and based to a large part on a mutual physical attraction.

He considered what it would be like to kiss her, but felt no want whatsoever to try. His heart was calm around her these days, and the attraction, although still existing, was different.

All he could see as he looked into her eyes was Brenda. All he could see looking into anyone's eyes seemed to be her. It was a soothing sensation, like he felt calm knowing that Brenda would be around waiting for him. Things were certainly good right now.

'Come on, I can tell something's bothering you.' Dylan pushed a little.

She smiled, but turned away.

'Tell me about Brenda instead, is she doing okay?' Kelly switched the subject.

'A little panicky at times, nervous, stressed, you know. She's been bringing home all these books about motherhood and having a kid. I think she's worrying too much, but I'm sure it's something she has to deal with in her own way.' He paused, remembering the doctor's appointment the other day. 'We got some pictures from the sonogram.' He smiled.

'I heard! I can't wait to see them.' Kelly replied enthusiastically.

'Yeah, it was amazing to see that little baby.' He stopped.

'You really love her don't you?' she asked.

He looked at her intensely. 'Yes, I really do.' He admitted.

Part of him was worried about why she had asked, but another part did not care as much. He could still tell something was bothering her.

'How did you know?' she asked suddenly.

The question startled Dylan a little. 'What do you mean?'

'That she was the one, how did you know she was the one you loved?' Kelly asked again.

Dylan thought about it for a moment.

'I don't know exactly, I think I always knew. But I realized it pretty late. It came on slowly, and I fought it for a while. The idea of being so involved, so attached to someone other then myself, it scared me.' He drew a breath.

'The first time we were together was rough, much because it was so intense. When I was around her it was like the world was spinning out of control, like I couldn't get enough. Then when we were apart I felt like I couldn't breath at all. I had to get out of it, I wasn't ready for that kind of serious commitment.' Dylan explained.

'When did you know you were?' Kelly said.

He thought about the questions for a while.

'Well, I guess it's true what they say. When you look into her eyes and see the world, and then you look at the world and all you see is her eyes, then you know she's the one. I'm pretty sure it works the other way too.'

'Cliché.' Kelly wrinkled her nose.

'Very much so, but it's sort of true. When we were in London together it was hard, and we drove each other crazy with the little things. Still we fought our way through that. I guess it's what keeps the passion.' Dylan said, smiling that delirious seductive smile.

'I know what you mean.' Kelly laughed.

He watched her again, and thought he could guess where this was going. 'You wouldn't be asking me all these questions because you've got a man hid away from us all or something, right?'

She blushed a little and he knew he was onto something. 'Come on, tell me. Who is it?'

'No one…' she tried, and then shook her head. 'Alright, there's someone, but I can't tell you who.'

Dylan nodded, understanding.

'Did you get a clearer picture though?' he asked.

'Yes, I think I did. Thank you Dylan.' She responded.

'You're very welcome, now I need a favor. Do you know what time it is?'

Kelly watched her wrist watch and nodded. 'That I can tell you… It's almost quarter past five, why?'

'I have to pick up Brenda at half past. We're going to the Pit for dinner, you want to join us with that mystery man of yours?' he raised an eyebrow in his attempt to lure out a hint.

'Very nice try, we'll see. You never know, I might be going out with Nat for all you know.' Kelly said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Dylan laughed a little. 'Yes, I'm sure you are Miss Taylor. Now come on, let's get off this forsaken beach.'

'Be nice, I like this beach.'

'Well I like it too young lady, I like it too.' Dylan threw his arm around her and made a grimace that caused him to look a lot like Nat.

Kelly laughed again and smacked him once more, this time shaking her head. 'What would I do without you Dylan?' she added.

'That is a good question. In fact, you'd all be lost without me.' Dylan said very self confidentially.

The girl shook her head, but smiled to herself. Her spirits were lifted.

_**6.35 PM**_

Donna was sitting in her car, stuck in a red light. She was late for a meeting with her friends, but thanks to the car phone she had given them the heads up about her timing problems.

It was a pretty evening, the sun still partially up. The sky was lit up by a radiant red from the horizon and the weather was very warm.

On the passenger seat beside her lay a pile of un-finished books, all part of her home work.

With a quiet sigh she turned to watch them. She would hardly have any time to go through them tonight, but maybe if she skipped a few classes tomorrow and studied until lunch. Kelly and Brenda had called earlier, both with different announcements.

Kelly wanted help on whether or not to wear a certain dress. Brenda told her to put down a Friday a few weeks from now for her play's premiere. Apparently she had also met a very fascinating boy at rehearsal whom she wanted to introduce to Valerie.

Donna hardly thought it was a good idea to feed the new found friend into Val's hands, but Brenda having faith as always in her friend simply laughed that off.

Something about those two confused Donna. Personally she had tried trusting Val several times but the other girl just did not take the advances towards friendship very seriously, instead Donna ended up in trouble most of the times.

Tonight however she was going to relax and enjoy herself. At least that had been the initial plan. Now she was sitting in a cue heading back into town after going out to meet Ray at a restaurant a few miles up the high way.

He had wanted to see her at the Peach Pit, or anywhere else in Beverly Hills, but she thought it a better idea if she drove out instead.

They had talked a lot lately, mostly about their relationship's future. She was still trying to figure out her feelings for David, but she had come to the conclusion that whatever she felt for her old boyfriend could not be explored further while she was seeing her current date.

So she had decided to break up with Ray, a mission more easily imagined doing than actually going through with.

Today he had bought her coffee and they had sat for over an hour talking about his song writing. He had been contacted by a scout who wanted to give him a contract and get him to tour up coast.

He was thinking about turning down the offer if she would not go with him.

For obvious reasons she had made it clear that she was not following him to Seattle, but he had not taken this as badly as expected. Instead he seemed a little relieved.

She had refrained from bringing up the subject of them being just friends. It did not seem like the time, and now she was as stressed and annoyed again as she had been while driving out there.

She was also nervous. Tonight, again, she would see David. It was getting frequent, their running in with each other. A few nights back he had come over with Pizza again and they watched a movie and then talked. He spent the night on the couch.

It was quite confusing, seeing someone she had always been quite close to suddenly re-emerge in a very intense way in her life.

Donna had been determined to put a lot of distance between herself and David after what happened about two years ago.

Nothing could possibly make her forget that night when she found him in the limo, but she was hoping to have forgiven him by now. Maybe she had, but that was part of what she needed to figure out before moving forward, either into a relationship or friendship.

_**9.18 PM**_

The sunlight had faded and a thick darkness spread over the city. The many lights of Los Angeles prevented the darkness to reach the streets however, and only from a while outside the city was the night sky clearly visible.

From a hill top overlooking Beverly Hills the view was excellent though, and here Valerie sat with her eyes focused on the ocean that was hearable but hardly visible far away.

She had a lot on her mind, and it all seemed less from up here. Things were placed in proportion and she felt as if she could control everything.

Steve was on her mind, but he was not her main concern. The conversation she had with David also occupied her thoughts. Still, neither of these problems got to her as much as what had happened with Brandon that weekend.

They had shared a kiss, and for a moment it felt as if something could happen. Then she caught him in bed with Kelly Taylor. Well not so much caught as realized. They had been together in casa Walsh while the senior Walsh's were out of town, and he had helped get Kelly out of the house late at night without, he thought, Valerie noticing anything.

It was strange how time played with them. When they finally found themselves in a situation where they ended up kissing each other without the surrounding events confusing their feelings Brandon's attraction for Kelly is finally answered and the two get intimate.

Valerie swore to herself. It just did not seem fair, and what was more it did not feel right that he had not talked to her since that happened. In fact, he had gone to quite extreme efforts to avoid her.

Kelly called the other day. Valerie had strong suspicions the two were going out on their first real date. For a moment she had thought about going over to the beach house and telling the blonde girl the truth about herself and Brandon, but something changed her mind.

It suddenly did not feel appealing to take away what might very well be the other girl's happiness.

She had visited Brenda yesterday, to talk. She had avoided all the subjects which were bothering her but still managed to give away some of the plot.

Brenda seemed to think her brother as highly inconsiderate and was only kept from calling him up and yelling at him by a pleading Val.

She sighed. They had their first sonogram yesterday morning, Dylan and Brenda that was. It seemed so big, that they were having a baby.

Momentarily she found herself wondering if she would ever feel that, whatever it was they felt.

She sighed. Again her thoughts turned to Steve Sanders. They had seen each other last night as well. He had come over, and spent most of the night. That time it was her time to be secretive as she made sure he was out of the house before Brandon or anyone else woke up.

Probably Steve was not so keen on the idea of being noticed by his friend either, but she had more reasons. She wanted Brandon to be the one to approach her about what was happening between him and Kelly, not out of guilt or jealousy but because of respect for her feelings.

That would not happen, and she knew it. At least within the week, probably not before he and Kelly were made official within the gang. Val was certain he would try to avoid it, try to talk to her before someone else found out but nevertheless he would probably also put it off in order to avoid an uncomfortable kissing discussion.


	4. Authors apologies and notes

**Authors Notes**

Hi everybody, loyal readers and reviewers especially.

I have been dealing with some personal issues over the past two weeks, thus the delay in updating for which I humbly and sincerely apologize. Please stay alert, because I hope to give you two long chapters before next Friday, and then they should be back on schedule (one big new one for every week).

To make amends I add a summary for chapter four:

_**Coming Clean, Coming Un-done**_

'Help me…' the voice was frail, softer than she remembered and all that kept her from panic was the soothing hand on her back.

'Don't do it.' She replied, in a vain hope those words would stop tragedy.

Summary: Brenda and Dylan deal with the Walsh family, and the future. Christmas is around the corner, and so is Donna's birthday as well as a very special party. But all this may very well be clouded by something else, the only question is what. Everybody bears their secrets, and suddenly revelations turn into desperations.


	5. Coming Clean, Coming Un Done

**Memories of a Rainy Day**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the original characters or plot, I do however own any fictional characters added by me personally (DarkFlames) for the plot of the story at hand, and the titles, story, and all else that belongs to the fictional non-profit story that is 'Memories of a Rainy Day'.

**A/N:** I recommend any reader following this story to read the last part of the chapter (following the last date, December 31st while listening to James Blunt's 'You're beautiful'. A suggestion, but trust me. The sensation will be completely different. Much of this chapter was in fact written to that song.

My love and best wishes to all reviewers, Heather in particular! I appreciate your impatience, don't stop asking and demanding, I need the inspiration and every e mail warms my heart be it support or something else.

I want to make a notice of a television movie called 'The Jonathan Wamback story', a true story about a Canadian boy who ended up in a coma after bullies at his school took matters too far. Today he has partially recovered, and can walk to school again. Support the children, stop the bullies, and vote or support better punishment/ways of dealing with youth offenders. Children under 18 seldom go to prison in many countries even after crimes as severe as brutal rape, abuse, and even murder. Many are merely sentenced to community service, or psychological evaluation/similar in their homes under parole.

Lastly I wish to apologize for the delay. Due to personal reasons I have been unable to keep the deadlines I promised you, and I hope to have your understanding.

_**DarkFlames**_

**_Chapter four: Coming Clean, Coming Un-done_**

It was after the crowd had begun disappearing that she started thinking about it. The last few precious hours, what she could have done. Was there something?

The rain intensified again, but she shrugged off the umbrella. She needed to feel the rain, the cold. The same feelings from that night. Somehow she wanted to suffer, it did not seem right if she simply accepted it.

She should stay there, where she was needed. Never again would she waiver, hesitate. No, the price for that was much too high. Now she knew, if only that lesson had been milder, taught sooner.

Even he had been more rational. Doing everything the right way, everything he could.

The rain intensified, struck her face like a whip and left un seen scars all over her body. The dress she wore clutched to her skin, but all of that, all of those feelings seemed small, un important compared…

'I don't know what to do…' she whispered. She had no idea. All the plans they had made, everything they had yet to discover, to experience.

It was time to face the truth, it was all over now. They would not be together here again to experience all of that. The rain felt like whip increasing in power.

_**December 23 5.33 PM**_

The evening was chilled, with that kind of soft breeze that is at first barely noticeable but then takes up more and more energy to defy. Eventually it feels like a harsh wind and you start shivering.

Brenda tried to pull the sweater closer around her body while she stood there in the backyard. The basket hoop was still ever present, and a ball lay resting close by her feet. She could sense that someone had recently used it, probably Brandon or even dad playing for fun. Maybe with each other.

They used to do that a lot when she lived here, when the kids grew up. A part of her could not wait to see Dylan playing with their child, be it a girl or boy.

She came to think of that gender difference. Was there really something like that? All the time she had passed through the different phases of growing up Brandon had been offered one thing and she another. Not by purpose, but rather because that seemed to their parents natural. The kids needed a hobby; Brenda got riding lessons and Brandon joined the hockey team, they wanted Halloween outfits; Brandon was a vampire, Brenda a fairy.

The thing was that no matter if it was on purpose or not it felt like Brandon was part of some big secret, and she another. Like their relationships to their parents were partially ruled by this. And she was determined not to let her daughter, or son, ever feel that way.

Picking up the ball she tried to remember what Brandon used to tell her about the jump shot. Without much of an effort she made the shot, and stood there smiling.

Not that they had shut her out completely. After a while she would start sneaking out to watch the two of them play, and as they noticed they would demand she join in. In the beginning she felt highly embarrassed but as she started developing a certain talent for the sport a new confidence found itself onto her. One that stretched beyond the basketball field in their backyard.

Still, she could not help but feel a sting of jealousy seeing her brother interact with their parents today. It had seemed so natural, like something she had now walked out on by choosing Dylan.

'Brenda, baby?' a soft voice asked from behind her.

'Oh… sorry.' She replied, turning to look at him.

'For what?' he simply came to a halt beside her, raising a questioning eyebrow.

'I drifted away for a while, this place has that effect on me sometimes.'

'You and Brandon play much?' he asked, nodding towards the hoop.

'We used to, sometimes. Mostly in Minnesota with dad.' Brenda explained.

He wrapped an arm loosely around her, and she leaned her head against him slightly while trying to interpret the previous train of thoughts.

'Sometimes Valerie would come over, and she'd sit and watch us play. Mostly because…' Brenda caught herself and stopped.

'Because of what?' Dylan asked, looking at her.

'You tell no one, but Valerie used to harbour quite a crush for Brandon.'

'Ahh, I already knew that one.' Dylan replied, laughing.

'How?' Brenda was a bit surprised.

'Well, for one it's clear she's still into him so it wouldn't seem to far fetched that she felt that way before.'

'Yeah, but he never noticed.' Brenda said sadly.

'Did you try match making?' Dylan started scolding.

'No! Not that much. I set them up for a party, but they went mostly as friends. They were really close you know, Brandon and Val.'

'Really? I thought you and her…' he let the words trail off.

'Oh no, not at first. Then we became like sisters, I used to walk to school just so we could talk in the mornings. She went to another elementary school, and then her family moved to Buffalo before high school.' Brenda explained.

'That must've been hard.'

She thought about the memories for a while.

'Yes, it was… I missed her a lot.' Brenda said.

Dylan hugged her for a bit.

'You know I'll always be here for you, right?' he asked as if to reassure her.

'I know Dylan, I just need to hear it sometimes.' She said.

'I love you Brenda.'

They remained like that, arms around each other, watching as the skies slowly became darker until another voice called from inside the kitchen that dinner was about to be served.

_**7.53 PM**_

The clouds looked as if they might bring rain, and there was a strange warmth in the air. As if a thunder storm was drawing near. Somehow it matched Donna's mood; gloomy and desperate, angry and loud.

She could still smell David's scent everywhere she walked in the apartment, especially in her own room. It was about the only thing that kept her thoughts from driving her insane.

Ray Pruitt was the one thing that always turned up, in the last second. He managed to stop her movements even from far away. The feeling was slowly beginning to choke her.

Now it was not only the fact that she was in love with a boy who seemed to consider love and pain very similar, she was also falling for another man who had hurt her in the past. Maybe it was a curse?

'Donna!' the voice was somewhat angry as it drew nearer. 'Donna, you've got to help me.'

Kelly Taylor entered the kitchen area with a frustrated look on her face and scanned the counters.

'What's wrong?' Donna asked.

'My necklace, the one Brandon…' the other blond trailed off. 'The one with the Christmas tree?'

'Oh yeah, I saw it in the bathroom.' Donna explained, nodding her head towards the mentioned room.

'Really? Thank you!' Kelly hugged her friend briefly before running back.

She was wearing a red dress with her hair pulled up and her blue eyes sparkling from beneath thick layers of make up.

'Okay, I'll be off then. Are you sure you'll be alright here?' Kelly asked upon re entering the hallway.

'Absolutely, go! Tell Brandon I said hi.'

'I will.'

So far Donna was the only one who knew about the relationship, something that both surprised and annoyed her. Keeping secrets was not the problem, but rather the fact that she of all people had to deal with their sneaking around.

At the moment she had more important things to worry about. Like the sharp pain in her arm., and the one in her heart.

Earlier that night she had gone over to Ray's, a futile attempt at having a good conversation with him. They had been walking amidst the Christmas trees which his family sold, and she brought it up again. Their relationship, and where it was headed did they not act.

A part of her had been nervous, but after the last time she came with more confidence.

'_Ray please, just listen to me.' She whispered but all he did was stare into the emptiness behind her._

'_I can't believe you'd do this, just before Christmas, before your birthday? You know I doubt those friends of yours even remember.' His voice was a low growl._

'_It's not that I want to hurt you, but I just don't think I can survive this Christmas if I don't tell you how I feel…'_

'_So that's it? What about what I feel?' he shouted, throwing up his arms._

'_Stop shouting!' Donna felt the tears close in. 'I can't lie to myself. I'm sorry, I just…'_

'_Tell me you don't love me Donna. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me!'_

Of course she could not do that, she never could. And he knew it, always. There was nothing she could say or do after that turn in conversation except the truth, she did love him. In a strange way it felt as if she was abandoning him, and knowing the depth of her feelings for him, how much she had once loved him, how much she still did, she could not purposely step away and hurt him. Risk what he might do if she…

No, that was not a road she could walk. Perhaps she was just weak, or tiered, or scared, or responsible. Some things were simply better left the way they were, even if it meant she suffered from it. As long as no one else did.

While she poured up a glass for herself, the fine alcohol coming from the storage in one of the cabinets, she thought of David. The harsh liquor burnt her throat, but the image of her friend comforted her. That was all the strength she needed right now, then the numbing sensation would set in again.

**_8.01 PM_**

Brenda squirmed in her seat. Suddenly the room seemed so warm, but she could for her life not figure out where the heat came from. A window was open and the fan was making soft humming sound.

At her side Dylan grasped her hand under the table, carefully intertwining their fingers while Jim spoke. Brandon was seated by the far end of the table looking from face to face. A few minutes ago he carried a stressed expression but now it seemed gone.

'I don't understand, where is this coming from?' Brenda stuttered a little bit taken by surprise.

'Well honey, it's not that we're not happy for you, we are thrilled at the prospect of having a grandchild, but… You have seen how tough it is to raise a child and go to school, not to mention your acting and the financial bit. Just look at Andrea. ' Cindy explained.

'We just want you to be prepared for all of this to be more than you might expect now.' Jim finished for his wife.

The two sat watching Brenda and Dylan, both of who were quietly contemplating what had been said.

'Look, first of all I'd say Andrea has handled her situation well.' Brenda started. 'And secondly, my relationship with Dylan and her with Jess is nothing alike. They had barely started dating when she got pregnant. This may not have been planned but it's nothing we haven't talked about.'

Dylan squeezed her hand for support.

'I know you're both worried, but… The financial bit is not a problem, you should know that.' Dylan looked at Jim.

Brenda made a hissing sound that Dylan simply shrugged off.

'And as far as school and acting, there's nothing stopping her from that. I can promise you, I'd never let that happen.'

Once again a strange quiet filled the room.

'More potatoes?' Brandon asked in an attempt to loosen up the mood.

'Sure…' Brenda replied.

They did not talk more about the subject of the baby, and Brandon turned the discussion to music and Nat's Christmas feast at the Peach Pit before excusing himself. However, Brenda sat there with a feeling of surprise and hurt, quite unable to voice her emotions.

_**11.45 PM**_

A mistletoe, a green tree, ornaments, the candle flickering, a stuffed cuddly rain deer on the sofa. It was all part of the romantic setting, and she felt very special standing in the middle of it all.

'Do you like it?' he asked, and the breath was close enough to tickle her ear.

With a giggle she turned her head to look up at him and smiled.

'I love it.' She whispered before they leaned in against each other to share a kiss.

'I love you Kelly.' Brandon whispered.

There was a moments pause.

'I love you too Brandon.'

Was it just Christmas driving them all crazy, or had this all happened even without the holliday? Kelly kept asking herself that question while they begun slow dancing to jazz playing from a radio somewhere.

'Thank you.' She whispered.

'Anything for you.' He laughed.

Then the conversation turned more serious.

'So how was dinner with the family?' Kelly asked carelessly.

Brandon looked a bit worried as he answered.

'It was interesting, like always.'

'Brenda and Dylan?' Kelly nudged him for more details.

'Yeah, but I really don't want to talk about my sister right now.'

'Really?' she asked.

They kissed again, this time more passionately.

_**11.55 PM**_

The bedroom was dark, the curtains pulled close over the open window, and the couple on the bed breathed heavily.

'What's the matter?' Valerie asked, irritated with the cold stance Steve had been taking all evening.

'Nothing.'

'Like always then.' She exclaimed, sitting up.

'Look, Val, what do you want from me?'

The brunette shook her head in disbelief. 'Forget it…'

Pulling on her jeans and a t shirt she walked into the bathroom, where a light was still on. She paused before the mirror and looked deep into her own eyes, trying hard to recognize herself there. Why? Was it something that she did, or did she manage to end up in these situations just because the world liked messing with her mind.

Brandon was on her thoughts right now, though, not that it helped any. She had a feeling that if Steve confided in him the latter would eventually come clean about another encounter. Then again, she was very aware that Clare and Steve were still official.

What did she want from him? Temporary emotions that would keep her mind off the rest of her problems?

'Val?' the voice was kinder than before, gentler.

A hand reached out to touch her, and in the mirror she could see a pair of eyes looking back at her. Perhaps not her own, but they were warm, shielding, comforting.

'Are you okay?' he asked.

'No.' she replied honestly, shaking her head.

The blonde boy placed a kiss on her head, and she reached up a frail hand to touch his. They stood like that for one minute, or was it an hour? She could not tell the difference. The only thing she knew was that on some level it felt good.

'It's going to be alright, somehow.' Steve whispered.

'Promise?' she asked, realizing the only thing her own eyes revealed was cold.

He simply kissed her again.

_**12.00 AM December 24**_

'Please… Don't!' she cried, the tears and the alcohol working together to make her drowsy and her vision blurry.

The strong arm was all she focused on, and again she thanked a higher power for letting her body be so numb she would not realize what was happening. Or at least feel all of it.

Sharp finger nails dug deep into the skin of her arm.

'Ray!' she cried, perhaps involuntary.

'I was trying Donna!' he screamed, but the rest of his words were drowned out by thunder.

With an inner smile she realized she had been right in her weather predictions.

Then suddenly the weight was lifted off her, and the pain stopped. She could tell that in the background yet another voice was heard. It was screaming too, but not at her. The words, again, died away. This time into the wind.

'David?' she asked, mostly to herself. And no one seemed to hear her anyways.

After a while there was a crash, and then footsteps moving away.

She focused her eyes to see Ray's back disappearing past the corner and David turning to look back at her, eyes filled with worry.

'Don!' he whispered, taking a few steps to pull her close.

'David!' and just like that she felt her defences break and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

'Shhh…'

They sat down, his arms around her trembling body. Afterwards all she could think about was how this must have looked to a bystander, or even to David. Not for a moment did he waver in his presence.

'Come on, I'm gonna take you home.'

'No!' she replied quickly.

The thought of David bringing her home to her parents in the middle of the night, on Christmas, trying to explain how he had found her… That was just something she had no intention of dealing with right now.

'Donna, I'll crash on the couch and you can take the bed. It's not very clean, but it's safe. He doesn't even know where I live.' David rationalized with her.

'Okay.' She whispered after a while.

'Come on.' And with that he led her away

**_08.25 AM_**

The cold had disappeared, but as she sat there with the phone pressed to her ear it would have went by un noticed by her. For Brenda, her whole body was shivering.

Words spoken, sentences left un-said. A part of her shunned from the very thought of what might have happened. The realization that she had been comfortably asleep in her boyfriend's arms by then was just overwhelming. That she might have been so safe while her friend needed her for protection.

'Is David awake yet?' she asked.

'No, but he sat up with long after I went to sleep. Told him he shouldn't…' Donna's words drifted off.

'Hey, listen to me. It's not your fault. Not at all.' Brenda repeated, something she had been trying to explain since the start of the conversation.

'You keep saying that… But who's is it?'

'I don't think it works like that Don, maybe it's unfair but you've got to understand that there is only one fact here and that is that Ray Pruitt is treating you wrongly. Whatever his reasons are, however much to blame he is, I don't care. All I want to know is that you are far away from him, and staying that way.'

Donna's breath was heard through the receiver, heavy and defeated.

'I have to go see him.' The girl whispered, with such a lonely and yet determined voice.

'Why?' Brenda replied.

'Because I can't move on before I know he understands…'

'You mean until you know he's okay?' Brenda asked, curious and surprised at the same time.

'Maybe, does that make me crazy?'

'I don't know, but I like to think we're all crazy sometimes. At least that would make a lot of what I've done more valid.' The brunette was searching for a reaction, and in a low and short laugh she got it.

'Remember the time you stole Brandon's car?' Donna was giggling.

'I thought everyone had forgotten about that.' She replied a bit ashamed.

'How did you get him to forgive you?'

'Well… I have my tricks. He can't hold a grudge for very long, and besides, I can look very innocent.'

'I know you can.' Donna was clearly enjoying the moment of reminiscing.

'Look, I don't know what you've got planned but we're going to be putting together some last minute presents, wrapping, Dylan's getting a tree, and I'm heading for the kitchen to finish a dessert for tonight's dinner. I'd love some company…' Brenda let the proposition hang in the air.

'How could I say no to that?' Donna replied after a moment of thought. 'Listen, I have to go. David's waking up.'

'Do you want me to pick you up?' Brenda asked.

'No, that's okay. I'll drive there myself, say in an hour or so?'

'Sounds perfect, and listen Donna. Don't go over there, you owe him nothing. Just try and enjoy Christmas with your friends and family. And David.'

'I know, and I will. I love you Brenda.'

'I love you too.'

The two girls hung up on either side of the city, one in a rented apartment close to the beach yet a distance from her own home, and another in her fairly recently purchased living room.

'Who was that?' Dylan's voice drifted from the doorway and he headed towards the empty space beside Brenda's cuddled up body.

'My secret lover, you know which one.' Brenda said carelessly.

The boy grinned, and shook his head. 'Him again, I have to do something about that.'

'I never said it was a him.' She countered.

'Really? Well, in that case…' Dylan bent down and kissed her.

They stayed like that, kissing and snuggling on the sofa, for quite a while before Brenda pulled back.

'I need a favour.' She said.

'Anything for you.' Dylan said, but the words were more than just a reply. She new he meant every single one of them.

'If Ray shows up, you have to keep him away from Donna. No matter what he says he can't come close to her.'

'I thought you said we shouldn't be meddling unless…' he paused.

'David caught him at Donna's apartment yesterday, he was hurting her. She's at David's right now, but I think she feels… I don't think it was the first time and I don't think it will keep her from agreeing to see him if he asks her.'

'Is she okay?' Dylan asked.

'Yeah, a bit shocked I think. Hopefully David can talk to her, maybe he'll get through.'

Brenda looked away from her boyfriends face and focused on the photos on the bookshelf. There were several of them, including a family portrait of the Walsh's, one of Jack McKay and Iris as well, one of Erica smiling from Dylan's shoulders, and two of herself and Brandon.

One showed the two of them as children, her with long almost black hair and piercing green eyes, and him with lighter shade of hair colour but similar eyes, and they both smiled brightly at the camera from their position of sitting on the lawn of their Minneapolis home.

The second was more recent, from the high school graduation. They were both clad in blue and yellow robes, both smiling again, and Brandon holding his arms around his sister while she in turn held up two diplomas with the name 'Walsh, B.' written in bold letters on them.

She loved both those pictures so much, and watching them helped make this new place feel like home, helped her feel safe and settled with issues like the one at hand came up and made her feel a bit lost.

'Baby, you've done everything you could. Everything. I promise to keep him away if he comes here, and you'll be there for her. It's all we can do. The rest is up to her.'

He pulled her a bit closer and she smiled. 'I love you so much Dylan.'

'I know, but I love you more.' He mocked her.

_**09.15 AM**_

Kelly Taylor swung her bag as she walked, and a silly grin was what welcomed anybody who glanced at her. It must have been the Christmas spirit, or maybe it was just love, she was having a hard time telling. Then the doors to the peach pit opened, and her mind travelled elsewhere.

Music was cheery and Nat was laughing, guests moved about and the tables were all occupied. So Kelly headed for the counter, where she had spotted an available seat.

'Coffee please.' She stated as a waiter walked by.

'Kelly?' a slightly surprised voice asked.

With that Valerie sat down next to the blond and smiled. 'Shouldn't you be getting into the Christmas feeling somewhere?'

'I was just about to ask you the same, only that would indicate you had feelings.' Kelly retorted rather harshly.

Valerie simply kept on smiling, and with a nod she admired her own steaming cup.

'Here you go.' The waitress was back and placed her coffee in front of Kelly.

'Thanks.' Kelly paused. 'Did you have something else to say?' she asked with a heightened eyebrow.

Valerie shook her head.

'Are you going to Brenda's tonight?' she asked instead.

Kelly thought about the question for a moment.

'No, actually… but I might stop by the Walsh's.' Kelly replied.

'Funny.'

'What is?' a part of her was really getting tiered with the smiling brunette sitting there.

'I figured you would be the first in line to be sucking up to her. What with the baby coming and all?' Valerie spoke softly.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Sorry I just figured you'd be heading for the position of god mother.' Valerie raised her cup. 'Cheers, oh and merry Christmas.'

'Why thank you, it will be.' Kelly said a bit angrily while standing up and walking away, the coffee still sitting barely touched.

'Merry Christmas Kelly.' Nat says as he intercepts her by the door, but all Kelly can muster is a nod and half smile.

The thoughts inside her head are swirling again. She had honestly not given the designation of god mother any thought until know, but seeing Valerie bring it up had struck a chord. Despite everything she and Brenda had been through… Well their high school experience had not been all bad, and she remembered the times they talked about kids.

A part of her had always expected to be the easy choice, but now it looked like there might be competition.

After all, she and Brenda had barely been civil towards one another at the latter's return from London a year ago. Now, however, she wanted to think that they were headed back on the right track.

The thought of Valerie having that position…

Well, she thought, there was still time to change all that. The question was only how? She knew how angry Brenda was with her for giving Valerie a constantly hard time, but Kelly herself could not help feeling the way she did towards the newcomer.

Even now, after a whole year had gone by she was un willing to accept the girl as part of the group.

_**09.40 AM**_

Valerie smiled. The place was filled with people, and money was rolling in. Granted, it was not her money, but she figured that business in any form was good if it could be used somehow.

Peach Pit was after all neighbouring and closely connected to the After Dark, and she had a strong admiration for Nat's way of running the place.

'Another?' the same man asked, as he paused with the pot in front of her.

'No thanks.'

'Kelly ran out of here pretty quick, don't you think?' he continued.

'Yeah well… She probably had other things on her mind. You know what Christmas can do to some people.' Valerie felt her own spirit fall.

'Are you alright Val?' Nat looked truly concerned.

'You know you are the first person who's asked me that in a really long time. And I think I will be.' She said, a real smile creeping onto her lips.

'I know you will honey, you're a survivor.' He said. 'Remember, there are a lot of people here who care about you, if there is ever something we'll all be here for you.'

'Thanks Nat, that really means a lot.' She exclaimed.

'Anytime. Ah! And we've got more company. Brando.' With that the man headed towards the cashier and spoke a few words with the recently entered boy.

Valerie tried carefully not to look his way, but her eyes still traced his figure. Then she turned away, disappointed in herself, her will power.

Maybe it was just one of those things that kept happening to her, something she was not supposed to get but simply yearn. The problem was that she could not stop thinking about him this time, it was as if he had etched his way onto her mind, into her heart, forever with that kiss.

'Val…' the deep voice was just behind her, and a hand found its way upon her shoulder.

'Brandon, hi.' She said, eyes downcast and voice low.

'Are you okay?'

'Suddenly that's a very popular phrase.' She stated.

'What?' he looked confused as he stood there, looking at her.

'Forget it, listen. I have to go, deal with some club things you know.'

'Sure… Do you need company?' he made no move of stepping aside so she might pass.

'Brandon, don't. I'm sure Kelly will miss you.' She retorted, feeling slightly guilty for her tone of voice although she did suspect the reason for his offer was that he felt guilty.

'Val…'

'Don't!' she repeated, this time gently showing him away and walking out the crowded room with her coffee in hand.

Maybe it was the fact that he had been there almost since she could remember, maybe it was that she had harboured a crush on him for as long, or maybe it was that she could not imagine life as it had been with her in Buffalo and him and Brenda in Beverly Hills again.

That distance simply scared her too much.

Behind, and un-noticed by Valerie, Brandon sighed and shook his head in despair.

_**10.15 AM**_

Brenda was desperately trying to prevent the cake form collapsing while Donna had a blast laughing at her friend.

'Really! I can do this.' Brenda insisted at the same time as Dylan strolled in with a careless laughter too.

'You look great in an apron.' He finally stated.

'Good save.' Donna acknowledged.

'It's my specialty.' Dylan replied while leaning over the counter and carefully kissing the brunette.

While a part of him wondered about what life might have looked like had just a moment been different, here or there. And he was surprised at the immense relief he felt when he realized it was not, this was all real, here and for a long time to come.

With these thoughts he withdrew, and drew a deep breath.

'I'll be back after lunch, and I've got a list.' He pulled up a piece of paper and pointed towards it meaningfully.

'Man with a mission, I like that.' Brenda smiled, a blindingly joyful smile. 'I love you. And don't be late.'

'I love you too babe.' Dylan waved while turning around. 'See you Donna.'

'Bye.' The other girl replied.

In the doorway he paused, watching Brenda laugh at something Donna had said, and the two girls moved around trying to salvage what was left of the cream and toppings. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful and happy. He just hoped tonight would not ruin that for her in any way.

He had never really felt that with anyone before, a protectiveness that was so hard to explain, a need to do whatever it took to know she was happy safe… In high school that feeling had been too intense for him to handle, he was not ready to give up the possibility of a lonely wild life.

Today he wanted nothing more than to be able to come home and hold her in his arms forever more. And could not imagine anything that would feel better than doing just that.

While shaking his head he locked the door behind him and walked towards his car. Dylan McKay, the bachelor, had settled. He smiled to himself, but realized at the same time that it may just be true. And not for the first time he looked up and said a quick thank you to someone or something he did not really know (no, not God, not even destiny… just, life?) for letting him have this, for letting them have each other without the sadness, the problems, the fear from before. Just him and her…

As he flicked on the radio a soft voice sang faintly from the speakers.

'…loosing my religion…'

_**10.58 AM**_

'Much better!' Donna concluded, sighting the masterpiece.

'Yeah.' Brenda agreed.

It may not have been the pride and joy of any bakery in town, or in the world for that matter, but to the two of them it was a small miracle.

'Thank you for this Brenda, I really needed the distraction.' Donna admitted.

'Anytime Don, anytime. It's going to be alright, you'll see.' Brenda added.

'Really?' a heightened eyebrow.

'Really.'

They stood there with their eyes focused on the cake in silence until Brenda decided to bring it up.

'Are you going to see him again?' she asked.

'Please, I just don't want to think about it right now.'

'Donna, are you?' Brenda pressed.

It was silent for a bit longer until the girl spoke.

'I have to get through to him, I have to end it properly.' Donna stated, clearly not ready for arguing her point. Something Brenda decided to use in her favour.

'Trust me, if he does not understand this is crossing the line, you should put as much distance between yourself and him as possible.'

'You don't know what it's like Brenda, I love him!' Donna exclaimed.

'Do you? A man that hurts you knowingly?' Brenda raised her voice along with her friend.

Even though she could see the pain in her friends face she knew that at some point this conversation would come up and even if it was scary Brenda realized it had fallen upon her to see it through.

'What about what David did, he knew exactly what he was doing.' Donna said, this time a bit more quietly.

'He hurt you, sure, but he has to a certain extent paid for that, and he could never lay a hand on you Don. Not David. What Ray has done to you, that is abuse. And as hard as it may seem right now, that is not right to you or him. Besides, you did not hesitate a second about leaving David. I know, I was there.'

'What about Dylan? How could you… forgive him?' Donna asked. 'After all, he and Kelly? She was your best friend?' she was timid, and Brenda knew they had never talked about this subject before, it had been sensitive ground.

'It was hard, but that's love for you. I would do almost anything for him, and that includes taking him back in an instance even after certain things. Today I'm older, wiser, we both are, but that is not to say all is well and forgotten.' Brenda paused. 'Come on, let's sit down.'

The two girls moved for the kitchen table.

'When he was with Kelly it was hard at first, but after a while I realized he was still right there, within close distance and would not go away just because our relationship and the definition it had held was gone.'

'When Stuart… I had loved him for so long, so much, and I had given up on ever feeling that for another man. But I was not going to throw away something great I had with another because he decided to come back. It had hurt too much for that. But he fought, and he let me choose. That was all I wanted, to know that it was not breakable this time.'

'That's beautiful.' Donna replied. 'I can't believe you're having a baby together, it seem like just yesterday you were going on your first date.'

'Remember when he stood me up?' Brenda smiled.

'Yeah, and you wouldn't come to school because you were scared of running into him.' Donna sighed while remembering.

'He came over and explained… and then my parents almost caught us on the couch.'

The two girls giggled.

'Maybe you're right, and somehow it feels like David's already… He's so close.'

'Do you love him?' Brenda asked.

'Yeah, I think so. But then again, I never really stopped. Not completely, I guess you can relate.'

Brenda nodded at this, and Donna shook her head.

'Well, we better get that cake out of the oven or it will end up like the last one.

_**1.11 PM**_

'Are you sure about this?' Brandon's voice asked, tiered but still alert, from the sofa.

'Yes! It's perfect, and you have to promise me not to tell her or Dylan anything.'

Brandon rolled his eyes in an attempt to mock his girlfriend.

'I promise.' He said. 'But it'll cost you.'

The two shared a few kisses before Kelly decided to bring up a more crucial matter.

'What about tonight?'

'What about it? You come over for a true Walsh Christmas, have much too much turkey, and enjoy my company.'

'And your family's.' Kelly added.

He watched her momentarily, and then seemed to come to a conclusion.

'Look, I promise you they'll be fine with it, if they even care.'

'I know, it's just that I'm a bit stressed out what with everything going on. I mean, can you imagine what could have happened, here, if David hadn't shown up last night?'

'Yeah, is Donna alright by the way?' Brandon replied.

'Last I heard she was going over to help Brenda with preparations for tonight. I think they're going to talk things through, they're really close in that way.' Kelly admitted.

There was no hint of jealousy in her voice and quite frankly she did not feel any either, only a slight relief in knowing her friend was alright and in the company of their other friend.

Because really, when it all came down to it, there were the three of them; herself, Brenda, and Donna. The group having survived together ever since high school, and they were the best of friends all three even despite their rough spots, her and Brenda more so than the other relations.

They were really right, friendship almost always beat the boys. Dylan had been very special, she would always admit to that, but in some strange way she was happy that Brenda was back in her life even if it meant Dylan was not, at least in the way she might have hoped for a few years back.

'What are you thinking about?' Brandon asked, curious.

'Donna, and Brenda.' Kelly stated. 'And how lucky I am, to have such good friends.'

'So you and Brenda have figured things out now?' Brandon sounded a bit relieved too.

'Not really, but I think we will get there eventually.' Kelly smiled, a secure one this time.

'I'm sure you will.'

'Now help me plan this thing.' The blond interrupted.

She was holding a calendar with the dates of the coming week in clear view.

'I'm no good at this, besides I thought it was an all girls thing?' he asked.

'Well it is, but seeing as how Clare is in France, and Donna is with Brenda, and Brenda herself can not know a thing about this…'

'Why not ask Valerie?' Brandon suggested.

A part of Kelly stiffened up just at the mere idea, but after a while her thoughts begun racing. Throwing the baby-shower together with Valerie might actually be a very good idea. After all it would be a sign that she was trying, for Brenda's sake mind you.

'That's a great idea.' She exclaimed and stood up to find the phone.

Brandon seemed almost so shocked he might have fallen of the couch, but gathered his composure in the last second. 'Really?'

'Yes, why are you so surprised.' Kelly asked.

'No reason…' But he did look around the room a little disbelievingly.

_**7.24 PM**_

There was a great fuzz in the room, and people were both laughing and talking while feasting on the champagne, tea, coffee, sodas and crackers. It as soon time for dessert, and in the kitchen Cindy Walsh was admiring her daughter's cake.

'What do you think?' Brenda asked as she strolled in.

'Did you do it all on your own?' Cindy asked.

'Well, I admit to a little help from Donna.' Brenda smiled.

The two avoided looking straight at each other, one of the side effects of both last night and tonight. The conversation had been polite and orderly at the dinner table, and the slight tension went quite un-noticed by the guests, but Brenda felt it as did her family.

'Hi you two, need any help with that?' Brandon entered to save the situation, and Brenda rewarded him with a shy smile.

'No, I think we'll be just fine. If you two could bring out some more plates…' Cindy motioned towards the smaller table inside the kitchen and both sister and brother obliged.

'Thank you for that.' Brenda whispered as they left the room, both carrying plates.

'For what?' Brandon asked, pretending to be oblivious. 'How are you by the way?'

'I'm fine, I don't know why everyone keep asking me that?' she replied.

'Well, I guess what happened to Donna got around. Everyone knows she spent the day with you.' Brandon explained.

'If they want to know how she is doing they have to ask her, not me Brandon. That goes for you too.' She explained quietly.

'I know, sorry. But I have to admit, you are glowing too.'

'I am?' she asked, a bit surprised.

'Yeah, you are sis. And I'm very happy to see it.' He kissed her cheek before excusing himself towards the crowd again, and Brenda felt a little warmer inside.

Despite a few conflicts here and there she had never really had any disagreements with her brother, not once like between herself and her parents.

'_You can't let go now…' _

She shivered and moved away from the table, the memories.

'I need to talk to you Brenda.' A clear voice stated from behind her, and with a nod she followed another girl.

'What's up Val?' she asked, a bit concerned.

'I just don't know what to do anymore Bren, I mean look at Steve… He's acting like nothing's ever happened, and Brandon.'

'I know, I know, but you've just got to be strong. He'll come around.' Brenda reasoned.

'I'm not even sure which one I want to come around anymore.' Valerie looked the way she had felt in the morning.

'It seems like it's going to be a complicated Christmas for a lot of people.' Brenda sighed.

'Donna?'

'Among other things.'

'Yeah, I noticed your parents where giving you the Walsh treatment.' Val laughed.

'What's that?' Brenda was tiered, but this conversation was in parts what she needed.

'You remember how our parents used to act whenever we got in trouble.' Valerie reminisced.

'No no, you got me in trouble, not the other way around.'

'Well, you had your moments.' Val noted, and Brenda nodded.

'I suppose we were a handful. Maybe we still are. But what do you mean with Walsh treatment?' she asked.

'Well, Brenda, my parents always tried to make as small scenes as possible, but then when we got home they would send me up to my room, ground me, and pretend nothing had ever happened. You're and Brandon's parents, and remember I love them, had another way.'

'Hear hear…' Brenda added.

'Yes, and I remember that your dad would explain to you really carefully why you were doing something wrong, and then your mom would look at him like he was being harsh only to moment's later sigh because she thought you were getting off easy. They complemented each other in the punishment segment, but neither were very good at it.'

Brenda laughed. 'Well, with Dylan they have certainly made some stubborn attempts.'

'How did they react when you brought Stuart home?' Valerie asked.

'Dad tried to persuade Dylan to hit on me, although that was a bit strange considering…' she let the words drift off.

'Considering you were already practically sleeping with him.' Valerie filled in.

'Stop making everything about sex!' Brenda threw a pillow at her friend, and at the same moment David poked his head inside and looked at them a bit strangely.

'They're about to start with dessert, I was sent to find you two.' He explained.

'Oh, thanks David.' Valerie replied.

'We'll be right there.' Brenda added.

'Actually, I was hoping we could talk.' David looked at Brenda as he said this, and she nodded.

'Sure, I'll be out in a minute Valerie, save me a good seat.'

The other girl winked but left the room, and David stepped inside. It was a study on the bottom floor, one that was not ordinarily in use al that much, her father mostly sat upstairs and her mother was not very fond of the small windowless space.

'Is it about Donna?' she asked immediately.

He did not reply at first, but merely looked around as if trying to figure out how to start.

'I just… I know she talks to you, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone because I might say something that she doesn't want them to know and…'

'It's okay, I understand. You can talk to me.' Brenda stopped him.

'Do you think she'll go back to him?' he asked.

'Maybe, but I hope not. She's scared that she's at fault.'

'What does that even mean?' David asked frustrated.

'That she thinks she can save him, help him, but he needs professional help far away from here.'

'You know, for a while there I was actually starting to sympathize with the guy.' David sighed.

'We all thought he was good for her, that they were good. Sometimes trouble's where you least expect it.' Brenda reasoned.

'I'm sorry for dragging you into this, considering everything.' She could see his eyes drift past her stomach.

'I'm pregnant, not dying.'

'What's the difference?' he asked.

'Sometimes I'm not sure.' And at that they both laughed.

'It's amazing isn't it? To think that in a year from now a little boy or girl looking like you and Dylan is going to be around.'

She watched him for a while. 'Someday there's going to be a little David out there too, in some form. Do you think West Beverly will still be around?'

'Maybe, but as long as we all still are I know I'll be very grateful.'

'Well said. You know I was a bit scared of you at first.' She admitted.

'Why?' he asked after a while.

'Well, I figured that if I was nice to you Kelly would give me a hard time, and if I wasn't Donna would feel betrayed. But to tell the truth, I never had a problem with you. I'm glad everything worked out the way it did, because I can't imagine what our gang would be like if you were not here somewhere.' Brenda stated.

'Back at you. Tell me something, why did you decide to come back from London?'

'Dylan made me an offer I could not resist!' she admitted.

'What's that?'

'Love and honesty.' She paused. 'In the end that's all I ever wanted, I was just scared it would end up being high school all over again.'

'How do you know that won't happen?'

'I don't, but when I look in his eyes I see a future. Who knows what's around the corner, but I'm willing to risk it all for a shot at that. I love him, and she loves you too. It's going to work out someway David, life has a way of doing that.'

He nodded.

'Come on, I'm starving.' She added.

'How? You just ate half a turkey!' he exclaimed in reply.

'David, pregnant Walsh women coming through.' Brenda said looking him in the eyes.

_**8.01 PM**_

Dylan was holding her hand, glancing to the side every once in a while.

'What?' Brenda asked curiously.

'I was just thinking about tonight. It was a good night.' He concluded.

'Yes, it was. Not great, but good.' She added.

He thought about her situation. Was it his fault that she was, once again, stuck between family and… family? Confused he shook his head.

'Are you okay?' Brenda asked, clearly worried.

'Yeah, just thinking. I love you Bren.'

'I love you too Dylan.' She replied.

They continued their short walk until they, in a comfortable silence, reached their own front door and Dylan started fishing up the keys.

'You know it's not your fault. Never has been, it's just the way of my family and me. I've always had a tendency of complicating things, somehow. Always. You're the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes and I'm happier than ever with you. Dylan, I love you.'

'But you love your family too.' He replied.

'Yes, and they will always be there for me and for you. But to my parents Brandon has always been the perfect one, and I leave a mess that someone needs to clean up. Nothing can change that, no matter if I'm with you or with anyone else. But no one besides you has made me feel just a little bit perfect.'

Dylan watched her, surprised. Not that they had avoided the subject, but they had seldom cleansed the air.

He bent down and did the only thing he could think of. He hugged her and his mind and heart both seemed so content just standing there.

'You are perfect.'

_**8.05 PM**_

Brandon was walking Kelly back to the beach apartment, their hands swinging back and forth.

'So did you have a good time?' he asked.

She thought about the question a while before answering.

'Yes, I did.' She replied honestly.

'But…' he let the questioning word hang in the air as they walked.

'But I guess I just wish we wouldn't have to sneak around. That people would know.' She admitted.

'We don't have to sneak around Kelly.' Brandon said a bit frustrated. 'I wanted to tell them tonight, you know that.'

'Yes, but it just seemed so wrong. It would have stolen the attention, and I didn't want that. Plus…' she hesitated.

'What?'

'Is everything alright? Between Brenda and your mom and dad I mean.' Kelly asked.

Brandon looked away.

'It's not really my place to talk about it. You know, it's complicated.'

'How? I thought they loved Dylan.' She asked.

'They do, but they just worry. A lot!' he emphasized. 'I bet your mom does the same.'

'Not nearly. But I know what you mean, I think.'

'Now, stop changing the subject. How about we come clean tomorrow, there's a surprise bash at Brenda's for Donna…' he let the sentence trail off.

'I know. By the way, there is a surprise bash a little later on in the week too, also at Brenda's.' Kelly said mysteriously.

Brandon watched her confused.

'I am throwing a baby shower with Valerie, remember? We thought the vacation would be a perfect time even if it is a little early.' Kelly explained.

He shunned back, but not enough for Kelly to notice. Just a slight waiver when she had said her name. He tried to push the thoughts to the back of his head, like he always did. Here he was, with the girl he loved right in front of her…

'Do you think that sounds good?' Kelly finished.

'Huh? Oh, yes. Excellent.' He replied un-certain of what exactly had been said while he was dazed in the land of secret thoughts.

'Do you want to come inside?' the offer was out there, and he was un-certain of how to reply.

'I would love to Kelly, but I'm just beat. Besides, I think you're right. We should make it official, do it right this time…' he replied, pecking her on the cheek.

She looked as confused as he felt, but simply nodded in reply.

'Are you sure you'll be okay here? I mean with Ray?' Brandon inquired.

'I'll be alright. He knows Donna isn't here anymore, besides… I think David scared him off good.'

'Okay.' Brandon said. 'Good night.' He kissed her once again, and then started back down the stairs and towards his car.

Kelly was probably still staring after him when he reached the black cabriolet but somehow he knew she would not ask him about it. Too much… Still, he could not help feel a little guilty, and not only towards her.

He thought about the other girl, Valerie. Her face easily popped into his head, like it had several times before, and she smiled at him.

Somehow he did not see her smiling towards him any time soon in real life. Maybe it was just meant to be one of those things you would dwell on a little while, a 'what if' before he settled with the right choice.

Then again Kelly might not be the right choice. Brandon shook his head. How could he even think that after their history. When they decided to call it quits last time, after the summer of their first year in CU, he had felt devastated.

Susan suddenly replaced Valerie's image and Brandon felt yet another sting of guilt. Was it really supposed to be this hard? To be with somebody?

Granted, neither he nor Kelly had planned for this to happen, and neither of them had probably ever imagined that it would. Was he leading her on? Was he, in fact, loving her in much the same manner he had during their high school prom when he told her she was like a sister?

The car started obediently under his touch.

_**9.48 PM**_

Claire stood in the lobby watching, waiting. She wanted it to be a clean break this time, and maybe she was messing all that up by just being here.

About half an hour ago Steve had arrived. Fifteen minutes before him Valerie stepped in and asked for a key. His key. Despite having seen it all before she just could not believe it was still happening. When she returned to Paris last time it had been under a cloud of confusion, this time she was back hoping to settle everything.

He had not even asked her to come. Just said he missed her, that was all. Nothing much had happened since she left. Well, apart from Brenda's pregnancy, and of course Ray turning into a lunatic.

She shuddered. Only a few days ago she had talked to Brenda over the phone, and again congratulated the pregnancy. After some small talk she carefully started asking questions, wondering about if Steve had been acting strangely. How Valerie was.

After the conversation she knew Brenda had some idea of the situation, and she also knew why her friend could not inform her more accurately about the details. Brenda had left hints, answered in short but clued ways.

And she knew that Brenda had figured out approximately how much Claire herself knew. The only question was weather or not the brunette would tell her other friend, namely Valerie. Apparently Val had not been easily scared off even if she did know, and after all Claire's presence in Steve's life was known to the entire group of friends.

So she started the long walk to the elevator, and then pressed the button. Number sixteen. How disgustingly perfect, she thought, and waited while the soft music played repeatedly in the contained area.

Then she stepped off the elevator and started down the hallway. It was a beautiful hallway, for a hotel. Decorated expensively, showered with fresh flowers, fancy carpets, no trace of dirt or dust, and mirrors flanking certain doors.

She stopped by their room. 135. A number she would not forget.

The key she had gotten her hands over through some flirting with the concierge was pressed against her sweaty palm. Was this really what she wanted to do? How she wanted things to end?

Claire Arnolds drew the card through the lock and a green light flipped on. The handle easily agreed to her pressure and she silently made her way inside, leaving the door to the hall open.

It was dark, but voices, or rather grunts, could be heard. She wanted so badly to be wrong, she craved an explanation. But more than anything she wanted confirmation, so that she could begin the process of forgetting. Not necessarily forgiving.

There was a main area, and then three doors; one to the bathroom, another to the mini-bar and small kitchen, and the third into a lavish bedroom.

The door was partially open, and she simply slipped it a little more so that the scene was in full view. There he was, the man she had thought she could love, with Valerie on top of him, neither aware of her presence.

'I'm flattered you took a hotel, and not your own bedroom.' She said.

They jumped apart, Steve looking so shocked she almost felt a pang of guilt.

'Claire!' he called, but she had already spun around and was walking towards the main door. 'Wait!'

But why should she wait? The elevator had of course become vacated and she furiously pressed the call button again and again.

'Claire!' he was running in a bathrobe with the hotel emblem printed clearly on the front, and his face was flushed and eyes worried. 'I'm sorry.'

She turned around to face him. 'So am I.'

The elevator doors opened and the high pitched 'pling' sound was heard.

**_10.38 PM_**

She turned sideways and watched David's tiered face. He did look beat, and she could not blame him. He had been running around town all morning and then attended both his father and Jackie's Christmas feast together with Kelly, and then come to pick her up at the Walshes party.

It felt a bit odd lying in his bed. There were no expectations, no demands, just two bodies wary from a long year finding comfort in the expensive sheets.

Donna smiled and snuggled a bit closer to her ex boyfriend. He smelled the same as before, she loved it. Everything about him was the same as she remembered only, well, more mature.

She had talked to none other than Dylan, surprisingly, during the evening, and he had explained to her about Ray's position and her options. While she admitted that she no longer felt anything even remotely friendly towards her boyfriend she could not simply leave it at that. Donna needed a break, a real one where she knew Ray acknowledged her decision.

Dylan had shook his head and told her what she suspected but refused to face. The possibility that Ray would, in fact, leave her alone after she broke up with him was slim if not non-existent. Then he said that both he and Brandon were more than willing to come with her if she needed to go see him anyways, but she should under no circumstances go alone.

With new found strength and determination she agreed and made a deal with him. She swore not to do anything that had to do with Ray alone, even if it did not necessarily mean they were there with her.

'Don?' the voice was faint and half asleep.

She focused on her surroundings again and realized that there was a ringing sound interrupting the peaceful quiet. Who could be calling at this hour.

Apparently David was just barely conscious and floating in and out of sleep.

'I'll get it.' She declared and strutted up, wearing a pair of fluffy loafers on her feet.

'Hello, Silver residence.' Donna said.

'Donna?' the voice was so un-expected, so soft. Like she remembered.

'Ray, you shouldn't be calling here.' She replied, but not with the strength in her voice she had felt just moments ago.

'I just needed to talk to you Donna, apologize…' his words drifted off.

'It's too late Ray, I don't want to talk to you anymore.'

There was a pause, in which she expected him to start shouting at her. What he did say surprised her.

'I know that. And I know you've moved on, which you're entitled to Donna. I love you, I just want you to be happy.'

She sighed. 'Ray…'

'Just, hear me out Donna. I packed a box of your stuff. Things you left here. I could come by and leave them outside the beach apartment some time when you're not there, you decide the time, but I would really like to see you and talk. Just to say good bye, one last time. I understand if you don't want to though.'

Donna thought about it for a while, slowly giving in to his honest voice. Could he really be acting again? Then she recalled the reason for why she was not ready to move on and explore her feelings for David, or anyone else for that matter, and thought about the possibility of having a clean break after all.

'I'm not seeing you alone.' She said determinedly.

'No no, you shouldn't, and you don't owe me anything Donna. But if you want to meet it would be someplace crowded. Just, please, could we not do it at the Pit. There are so many memories there. Someplace more neutral?' he pleaded.

She agreed, nodding to herself.

'I know a place.'

_**11.05 PM**_

Brenda hesitated at the door. Then she shifted her position and placed the chain into place, securing the front door.

'Baby, what's going on?' Dylan was coming down the stair case and looked at her. Not oddly, like she knew most of the others would, and did, but curiously, knowingly.

'I just thought I heard something. And I was thirsty, do you want something? Maybe a night snack?' she quickly changed the subject, and knew he would be okay with that.

Dylan responded by not showing a hint of further interest in her reasons for locking the door so carefully despite his nightly ritual of checking all entrances. Instead he nodded and waved towards the kitchen door.

'What do you feel like? Ham and cheese?' he flaunted some bread and opened the refrigerator door.

'Sure, it sounds good. And maybe some jam, say strawberry?' Brenda replied.

Dylan looked at her a little strangely before nodding. 'You have spent too much time in London.' He whispered.

'So have you.'

_**11.55 PM**_

Kelly hit the lights and her bedroom was dark. Except for the sound of the ocean the apartment was quiet.

She felt a sudden loneliness. It had seldom been this empty and on rare occasions this quiet here. Either Donna was in her bedroom or, during their first year, David was sleeping in the third room, and then of course Claire moved in and more often than not had a habit of walking around the corridor late at night for snacks.

Brandon's sudden departure also mystified the evening. Kelly thought about the many options for explaining his behaviour, mostly in an attempt to both reason with herself and keep her mind off the empty apartment.

It was not the first time she invited him inside late at night. They had often spent nights watching old movies, and he had on several occasions even crashed on the couch.

Perhaps tonight was different because they were a couple, in some sense. Whatever that meant. Could he have been sincere in his intentions not to sleep with her until they were official? She doubted that he would feel the need for such gentleman measures all of a sudden.

Not that he was not perfectly respectful. She found herself reminiscing in the many times his behaviour towards her had surprised her. There were so many evenings when she had practically thrown herself at him and he had refrained from anything that might be considered taking advantage of the girl.

She finally fell asleep with both happy and confused thoughts running through her mind, and Kelly Taylor felt quite contempt.

**_10.31 AM, December 25th_**

Valerie Malone sat at one of the tables in the peach pit looking bored and nervous. Kelly, who had seated herself opposite the dark haired woman, was slightly impatient with the other's behaviour and, once more, rolled her eyes.

'Look Kelly, I didn't ask you to do this. In fact, this whole thing was your idea to start with.' Valerie replied irritated.

'Well I would imagine you'd want to give your friend a day she wouldn't forget.' Kelly replied.

Valerie thought about the baby shower and nodded. 'Yeah, you're right. It's just… Christmas, it always gets me somehow.'

'Tell me about it.' Kelly replied, and both girls seemed momentarily surprised to find some similar ground.

As Valerie seemed to be expecting an explanation Kelly continued.

'My father has not actually managed to call me to wish a happy Holliday for several years, but he does send nice big checks. And when I was growing up my mother was mostly high or drunk around now.'

'My dad used to preach, on and on he'd go, and then have too much alcohol for breakfast. Mom was stuck in her own sphere and never even noticed that I snuck out to the Walshes.' Valerie contributed.

'You must have a lot of stories to tell. About Walsh Christmases I mean.' Kelly replied.

'Yes, a few. I'll let you in on the secrets sometimes, if you pay for the coffee.' Valerie laughed.

'Okay so we have a date and Dylan has agreed to get Brenda out of the house enough to let us prepare. Then he should bring her back around six so we can have dinner.' Kelly explained, smiling.

'Who else are we inviting, besides me, you, and Donna that is?' Valerie asked.

'Well, I was hoping you would check in with some of her friends from the academy, and I'm going to invite some girls from CU we got to know together. It should be a fairly small thing.'

'Sounds good. And I have the cake and food under control. Nat is going to prepare and I'm picking up.' Valerie replied.

'So it looks like we're done for the day?' Kelly stated more than asked.

'ta ta.' Valerie said in her most snobbish voice, causing even Kelly to grant her a laugh.

'You need to work on that.'

_**13. 04 PM**_

Steve was shouting, and frankly the words were just slipping past her. She had no interest in listening to his tantrums about his ex girlfriend's decisions.

'It's over just deal with it Steve.' Val said.

'But it wouldn't be if it weren't for you!' he pointed at her accusatorily.

Valerie's eyes flashed with anger and she stood up.

'Don't you dare Steve. I understand that you're upset, but we both know it takes two to tango. By the way, you came to me. Not the other way around.'

It was true. At the moment she had been perfectly pre occupied with Brandon and had no desire whatsoever to engage in an intense and very complicated affair with his friend.

'You have to talk to her.' He said.

'What!' now she was both confused and angered. 'To say what? Sorry Claire, but I couldn't help screwing your boyfriend. He had nothing to do with it, the fault is all mine.' Val tried sarcastically.

'Don't be like that. Val, come on.'

'You know what your problem is? You're just like every other guy. Just thinking about yourself when you get in a mess, but guess what? This one is your problem, and you alone can get out of it.' With that she grabbed her purse and left, slamming the door to his room shut behind her.

**_6.15 PM_**

Donna was feeling slightly guilty. David had surprised her with a fancy lunch together with her family, and then a tour of the beach just for the two of them. The day all in all so far had been perfect, so why was she so unable to enjoy?

The conversation from yesterday with Ray hung tight in the air, although David seemed oblivious. She had with a conscious decision refrained from telling him about it, shrugging it off as Brenda calling to check up on her.

He believed her, like a faithful puppy he simply looked at her and nodded before tugging the leach to some new location.

Not that she was not positively surprised. At the moment she was walking from his car towards the McKay-Walsh house where balloons were swirling at the door and from various items and car handles around the yard. She could not help giggle.

'You like it?' a voice asked, and she looked up.

Brenda and the rest of the gang were making their way out to great her.

'A one, a two, a one two three four…' David started and the group broke out singing their own version of 'happy birthday dear Donna.'

The mood was festive, she found herself suddenly laughing un controllably and hugs were passed all around.

For just a moment, for a few precious hours to come, Donna felt less alone, less imperfect. And of course David's hand around her back did not make matters worse.

_**10.04 PM**_

David removed the coat from the hanger and started to place it around Donna's shoulders. A careful, kind gesture. He really hoped she had appreciated the evening, that she had a perfect birthday after all.

Some of the guests were collecting their various belongings before heading for the door, and currently Mr. and Mrs. Martin were excusing themselves, congratulating their daughter one more time.

'I'll see you for new years honey. Remember, if there's anything we'll be in Houston over the week.' Mrs. Martin was explaining.

David nodded to himself. He felt a little proud of being the one to bring Donna home, after all. Well, he scolded himself for thinking that way too but those old feelings that had been stirred up long since were beginning to place themselves somewhere more comfortable. Somewhere more right.

He watched Brenda walk up to Donna and give her friend a hug. There was the smallest inkling to a bump on her stomach, and David noticed Dylan trailing behind his girlfriend. The other man was practically glistening from some un-explainable mix of happiness and love.

With a side ways glance he tried to picture Donna pregnant and the image before his inner eye was rather appealing. The idea almost scared him but then again, in a long term perspective… He had every intention of considering marrying her seriously. In high school that had seemed almost like a joke, such an adult thing to even think about, but now it just seemed. Less far fetched!

'Come on, we've gotto go.' He said, lightly ushering Donna towards the door.

'Yes, you're right. Bye guys, and thank you so much.' She waved at them, their friends, and with happy faces they left. Mr. and Mrs. Martin, himself, and Donna, headed for two different cars and homes. Both happy. Somewhat…

'So?' he was prying.

'So, I had a good time. Thank you David.' Donna replied once seated.

He simply nodded in return. 'Well, you deserve nothing less.'

The moment he had said it he regretted it. Somehow that sentence brought the trail of thoughts to a third party, someone that was hardly welcome in tonight's festivities.

'Anyways, what did you like your present?' he tried again.

'I can't believe you found it David, and I love it.' She leaned over carelessly and pecked him while clutching the wrapped up gift.

He felt a blush coming on and coughed lightly while hurriedly rolling down the windows.

It was a pretty evening, one of those LA nights with warmth in the air mingled with a cool wind and a clear sky. The waves of the ocean crushing against the shores could be heard the closer they got to the beach, and from various street corners music was played and laughter floated through the air.

When he parked in front of his apartment complex David realized his co-passenger was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful he felt rather guilty for waking her up.

David tugged lightly at her hand and Donna's eyelids fluttered open.

'We're home.' He whispered into the night.

**_12.34 PM, December 27th_**

'Ray, come on.' She repeated.

Maybe it had all been a mistake. Maybe she was not meant to be with David after all, this was just some cruel joke fate had played on her.

She looked up at the man sitting across from her at the crowded café and shuddered inside. Here he was, after all the sweet words of apologies and understanding he had told her over the phone, refusing to accept her decision.

'Donna, just hear me out.' He started again, but this time she was too tiered to hear it.

'No Ray, I have heard you out. It just won't work.'

'I love you, and I know we're meant to be together Donna.' He ignored her voice.

'No. If you loved me you'd let me go.' She replied.

'Fine, I'll walk away right now. Just look me in the eyes and say you don't love me anymore.'

The chatter around her died away, became like background noise, and she gazed right at him. 'I don't love you!'

'Without lying…' he finished.

To that she was too worn out to argue.

_**7.13 PM**_

The woman handed a pack of dollar bills to the clerk behind the counter. Donna did not want to look up, to face the other's eyes. It was too much right now.

'Do you want a bag with that?'

Donna hesitated, surprised in fact to be spoken to.

'Yeah, thanks.'

The Vodka bottle was packed into a brown package along with the chocolate bar and gum. She figured that with some luck she would be sober again by Brenda's baby bash. If she was lucky.

'There you go.'

Refraining from offering a reply she grabbed the bag and walked out. It was a shabby liquor store at a street corner Donna normally did not pass. Still it was fairly close to the beach apartment.

David thought she was staying at her parents house tonight, he had a meeting with some big shot at the record company anyways so he would not notice much. Although he had looked worried in the morning, she must have been acting nervous. Then his voice betrayed a slight hurt when she explained that she needed some time alone over the coming days. She would be back on Saturday, and for new years of course.

There was a scary movie on. She might watch it. Might as well, it would numb her sorrows.

She could taste Ray's lips on hers after their meeting earlier today. Donna pulled up the Vodka once seated in her car and drained what must have been a few shots in one swing.

'Much better.' She told herself, the tone of her fragile voice scaring even herself a bit. But alcohol would numb that. Wonderful, trustworthy, numbing alcohol.

The car started kindly under her touch and she speeded down the street. She could smell the ocean, and hear the waves again.

**_6.05 PM, December 30th_**

'Dylan, I really think I should go over there.'

'Brenda, would you calm down. I'm sure she's alright. In fact, I bet you'll see her sooner than you think.'

'Yes, I suppose… the new years party tomorrow.' Brenda agreed.

Dylan shook his head, but he too was worried. Apparently the past few days had been hard on their blond friend who had only contacted them through phone calls for Brenda.

Last time she called Dylan was the first to pick up, and even he recognized the blurry words and scared voice. She was getting drunk. As long as she stayed to light liquor. He did not think she could handle drugs.

'I'm just so scared of loosing her. And to him! Promise you and Brandon will go check on her.' She asked again. 'Please, just promise.'

'I promise Brenda. Promise.' He pushed a strand of her hair to the side. 'oh Baby… You have a good evening okay? I'll be back around ten.'

She nodded. 'I still don't understand why you won't let me help you and Nat.' she added.

'You will.'

It made no sense but she returned his passionate kiss and then started up the front yard. She was a bit surprised to see Valerie's car in the drive way, but then again her friend had sometimes used the extra parking space when casa Walsh was full.

'Surprise!' the gang shouted at her as she stepped inside.

Someone, who she later recognized as Kelly, flicked the light switch and there it was. A banner with the words 'go baby go' printed in blue and pink letters and underneath which about ten of Brenda's female friends crowded.

Hugs were passed all around, and for a moment she forgot her concerns. Then she realized…

'Where's Donna?' she asked out loud.

'Oh, she's coming. She just got a bit delayed. Wasn't feeling too well I think.' Valerie informed. Kelly nodded in agreement.

Brenda felt a bit guilty. Maybe she should say something, then again Dylan and Brandon knew and she had sworn to Donna not to tell anyone. Maybe she ought to leave it at that…

The evening passed marvellously, with hamburgers and fries followed up by a beautiful cake with a baby theme. Then the group turned to the collection of gifts placed under the Christmas tree and Brenda delightfully tore open small baby clothes, a crib, stroller ornaments, Disney books, and a few 'baby' information books. She smiled when she came across Kelly's gift.

It was a beautiful frame with bright colours, and inside a picture of Brenda's first sonogram. She reached out and touched it with her fingers, trying in vain to trace the lines of her almost invisible baby.

'I still can't find the head.' She murmured, and Valerie broke out laughing.

'Don't worry, just as long as you do when it's born. And name it nicely, say after me…' Val added.

'You wish, but I'll put it on my list of ideas.'

The talk continued for hours, and Brenda soon found herself walking away from the kitchen where Genna and Piper had been sharing school stories with her. There, standing in the hallway facing each other, were Valerie and Kelly.

'You know here I was thinking there really was something more to you Kel, but I was right. All you are is a Beverly Hills snob who is used to getting whatever she wants.' Valerie spat.

'Val!' Brenda was worried now.

'That's nice coming from the devil herself.' Kelly retorted.

'What's going on!' Brenda asked desperate to save some of the un shattered piece of friendship between the two other girls.

'Valerie is being her usual self, that is a bitch.' Kelly shouted.

'Well, you may be right on the other accounts but at least I didn't have to trick Brandon into doing anything.' Valerie blurted.

There was a momentary silence in which Brenda knew every hope of saving the evening was lost.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Kelly asked, her voice stuttered.

'It means I didn't try anything on him, he kissed me.'

Valerie's face was flushed, Kelly looked like she had been punched and Brenda drew a very deep breath.

Then Kelly took a few steps forward and slapped Valerie without a hint of regret and with quite forceful a movement too. Then, with tears running down her cheeks, she ran up the stairs and disappeared onto the second floor.

Brenda walked over to Valerie and tenderly got her friend to straighten up.

'Are you alright?' she asked.

'I didn't mean to tell her. It came out, you know what she was trying to do.'

'Val, it's okay. But maybe you two should put some space between each other for a while, let things cool off. You really shouldn't have told her about that. But you're right, Kelly should not have gone behind your back with the reason for the party.' Brenda spoke.

'yeah.'

The two girls hugged.

'I need to go up and check on her, okay?'

Valerie nodded as Brenda started up the stairs.

She found her blond friend sitting on the guest room bed, sobbing but not as un controllably as before.

'I can't believe I slapped her.' Kelly whispered.

'I know, but I bet Steve will be delighted.' Brenda replied sitting down beside the other woman.

'Why? Why did she say something like that? Is it true?'

'Yes, but you should be talking to Brandon about this. Allow for him to explain. I didn't know you two were an item until yesterday. I tried to get him to come clean.'

'When?' Kelly demanded.

'Before you started dating I guess. Just before, but still… He has never cheated on you Kelly.'

'And you believe him?' she asked.

'Yes.' Brenda said confidently.

'Now how about you? Valerie thinks you threw this party just because you were worried I'd pick her for god mother.' Brenda asked.

Kelly was silent. 'Were you going to?'

'No, and I had already talked to Valerie about it. And Donna.'

Brenda let it hang in the air.

'Of course… I should have known.' Kelly sighed.

'I didn't want to cause a further rift between you two, besides. It would not have been fair to choose between you. I know Donna's going to be perfect. And I'm hoping that a few kids down the road she won't be the only one I've picked.' Brenda winked.

Kelly nodded, understanding.

'I love you Brenda.'

'I love you too Kel.'

**_11.54 PM, December 31st_**

It's beautiful.

The waves, the feeling, the love. It felt safe and frightening at the same time. Like a temptation where the outcome is not certain, like a roller coaster that might crash.

She thought it should rain, a night like this. Wash away the sins of the past year. Embrace the coming one. Take away the pain. So much pain…

'_I'm going out. Just a little bit. To watch the stars.' She whispered._

_Brenda's voice on the other side of the line was beyond panicked. 'Donna, please. Listen to me…'_

'_No Brenda, it's too late. I'm so tiered of listening!' she screamed. 'They all want me to listen, well what about what I want to say?'_

'_I'm listening Donna, talk to me. Tell me what's going on.'_

_Donna shook her head, and for a moment she had to press her palm against her forehead to escape the blurred vision and the strange warmth. _

'_I tried, I really did. It's so hard Brenda.'_

'_I know baby, I know. But Donna, I love you. So many people here are so scared for you right now, please. Just be careful, just keep talking to me. Dylan's going to come pick…'_

'_No! Don't you dare send someone here…' her voice croaked. 'No.'_

'_Donna!' Brenda was screaming into the receiver, trying to get in contact, to get another response. 'Donna!'_

'_Do you think it's my fault? That I ruined it somehow?' she asked._

_Brenda was crying at that point. 'No, Donna don't say that. Don't say that. You did nothing wrong. Just talk to me…'_

'_I…' Donna paused. Her strength was weakening and she took another sip from the bottle. 'I have to go…' _

_With that she left the phone dangling from the pay booth._

She walked out. The water was ice cold. She could feel it piercing her skin, grabbing a tight hold of her legs as she moved further and further into the un known.

Not even surfers were out this late. Even at new years. She recalled something about a storm, vaguely. Who would shun a storm?

Suddenly she started laughing, hysterically. There was one star in particular, it seemed to out-shine the rest. Like a guiding light to her.

She raised the bottle to cheer, but when she tried to drink she realized it was empty.

Without a word she threw it away, and the sound it made as it struck the surface was louder than she had expected. Then the waves pulled it out, just like they would her if she did not stop soon.

The temperature must have risen out here, because her legs were prickling from warmth now. She was sweaty and threw her jacket off. Her entire body was wet now, and the occasional high waves embraced her upper body as well.

'oh…' she whispered.

'_David! She's by the beach, she's drunk David. Hurry!' Brenda shouted to someone in the background. Maybe another phone?_

He would not have to hurry, no. There was so much time, too much. All the time in the world. She did not need him to hurry. After all, she was right here? How they were fretting, worrying. No, there was no need to hurry David, she thought, I am quite fine.

With that she stumbled and the shock of the again cold water got her attention once more.

This time she did turn around, but only to look. There was the beach, like she remembered. Calm and peaceful, constant. It was pretty far away, but not to worry. Dylan was out here almost every other day, surfing. Granted that was in day light but, how hard could it be?

She smiled, and her teeth were hacking. The star was beginning to make the others fade away. The rest of the sky was suddenly only blue, midnight blue. But that one star seemed to be reaching out for her.

With slight hesitation she reached up her right arm and tried to meet it.

'Donna!' could she really not stop replaying that conversation.

As she came closer to the light up in the sky she tried to take a step forward and lost her balance. But this time her hands were reached upwards and she could not regain control of her movements. At the same moment a wave rolled in before her and she felt the water move around her again.

She slipped, falling with her entire body into the water.

It was colder than she had thought, but numbing too. Almost as good as alcohol, different but together they made quite a mixture.

The star had disappeared. She felt a bit odd at first, wondering where it had gone. Maybe she was just too drunk to see it.

'Donna!' this time the sound was followed by the splashing of water. She shook her head and cleared the memories.

The waves, the feeling, the love. It felt safe and frightening at the same time. Like a temptation where the outcome is not certain, like a roller coaster that might crash.

'Donna!' the voice paused. 'She's over here. I've got here! I think she's un conscious.'

Un conscious, no. Donna fluttered her eye lids. The numbness was ever present, and she finally closed her eyes.

It's beautiful, was the last thing she thought.

**_A/N:_** Not everything I had hoped for, but I do hope you enjoyed it anyways. And once again, I apologize for the delay. I hope the length may compensate for the wait, and thank you for your reviews. They inspire and delight, I thrive on them so more will not hurt. I know there is confusion in this chapter, but hopefully much will be explained over the following ones.

**_Chapter five summary: _**Questions and answers, tragedy and hope. What will un fold is sometimes determined by the strength of our love, the power of desperation and determination, and the amazing ability of simply hoping.

_Darkflames_


	6. There and Back Again

**Memories of a Rainy Day**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the original characters or plot, I do however own any fictional characters added by me personally (DarkFlames) for the plot of the story at hand, and the titles, story, and all else that belongs to the fictional non-profit story that is 'Memories of a Rainy Day'. Enjoy, don't sue!

'Hope dangles on a string  
Winding in, winding out'

Dashboard Confessionals, 'Vindicated'

**A/N:** A little recommendation on my part again, this time for your spare time. At any opportunity to check out the movies 'Crash' and if you feel like it also 'North Country' then seize it and watch them. But think, watch actively. Crash, especially, deserves attention not because of the 'racist' storyline but because it really has nothing to do with that. Because of the 'people' storyline. After all, shouldn't we be over the whole 'skin' problem by now, and focus on what really remains the issue; that we are all people, humans, individuals and our flaws etcetera are part of society and of us as individuals regardless of skin. Makes you think.

(PS. Check out my Livejournal under the writers name _Desideriadf_ and do feel free to comment.)

Secondly I want to, again, give a huge thanks to my loyal readers, and the new ones too, and all you reviewers. You are wonderful, I love you all. Any suggestions, comments, request, flames even. All welcome. Love the inspiration and also the critique. Thank you all!

This chapter in particular is **dedicated to Heather**. Enjoy, and I hope you still find time to read and maybe even write someday. Thank you so much for your inspiration and everything else.

**_Chapter five, 'There and Back Again'_**

_**8.30 AM**_

Brandon opened the car door with a sigh. It was too early for this. Next to him Brenda mimicked his motion by getting out of the car with an angry grunt.

'Brenda…' he tried, but she shook her head immediately.

'Don't Brandon.' She said, and the words were weak somehow.

They had been like this since late last night. He had gotten himself into some trouble and she had attempted several times to talk to him about it, but everytime he seemed to end up snapping at her. Now, Monday morning, they were standing outside West Beverly high school with a tension between them Brandon did not recognize.

Throughout their lives they had never had any big fights. Any disagreements mostly blew over within a few days, or they sat down and talked it through. Sometimes they simply agreed to disagree, but despite everything both of them always knew they could count on each other.

'Come on.' He said motioning towards the entrance.

She did not reply, simply walked beside him, eyes focused straight ahead.

He had shouted at her this morning. The fact was that he could not deny that he had been in a bad mood, and taken it out over her. She did occasionally get on his nerves with the constant complaints about one thing or the other. But he knew that he acted the same way to her and most of the time she patiently listened and provided advice.

Never in his soon eighteen year old life had he made his sister cry, but this morning when she stormed out of the bathroom he had been quite convinced he saw a glimmer in her eyes. She was gone before he could sure, however, and he did not dare to ask later. Did not dare to follow.

He glanced sideways. After everything they had been through he had to admit that he was mighty proud of her.

He had told her he was sick of listening. Right now all he wanted was to take it back.

She did not seem to notice his gaze on her, or she did not show it. Instead she looked rather stern, with right.

As they reached the hallway she headed right and he crossed her path moving left. Neither said a word, yet both of them were welling over with sentences unspoken, apologies un heard.

_**08.35 AM**_

Donna Martin picked up her books from the locker and started looking for her pencils. After a while she found them and let them fall into her purse. Simultaneously she saw Brenda from the corner of her eye.

'Brenda! Good morning.' She called, waving slightly to her friend.

The gloomy looking brunette immediately lit up and waved back with a smile.

'Hi Don.' She said upon coming closer.

'What's wrong? You looked sad.' Donna asked with concern. 'Is it Dylan?'

'No.' Brenda shook her head, while moving to rest against the lockers. 'Brandon. Just some brother sister stuff.'

'Oh, okay. Do you want to talk about it?' Donna tried not to push, but wanted to reassure her friend about her availability as a listener.

Brenda looked deep in thought for a moment, then smiled lightly.

'No, I think it's going to be okay. I just don't like fighting with him, you know?'

'You are so lucky. I wish I had someone like Brandon.' Donna whispered.

'Well, you've got David. He's not half bad you know.' Brenda nodded towards the other end of the corridor.

A boy around their age was having trouble balancing his heavy book load and burrowed some support from the drinking water tap.

'He sure isn't.' Donna giggled. 'Come on, let's get to class.'

The girls walked close together in the direction of a stair case to join forces for math. Half way there another boy pushed past them and for a second the two girls were forced apart. Standing on either side of the space where the boy had just walked past they faced each other.

'Someone's having a bad morning.' Brenda concluded.

'No kidding.' Donna agreed, and they moved together again, laughing slightly. There was always a bright side of every down. Donna figured. She just hoped that boy would have a better day than it seemed to have been so far for him.

_**08.40 AM**_

Steve moved up behind Kelly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

'English dear?' he asked.

The blond girl giggled. 'Morning Steve, you too?' she pointed to her book.

'Yep, but morning was two hours ago in detention.'

Indeed his morning had been fairly outdrawn already. But being here now made his mood lift somehow. He felt Kelly draw a deep breath beside him.

'I wonder what fascinating traumas West Beverly will have for us today.' She said.

He just nodded, unsure of what to say. His only guess was that her expectations had something to do with Dylan, and right now that was not what Steve wanted to think about.

'Say, how do you feel about a movie tonight Kel? I just need to get my mind of detention and school, and I think you could use a break to.'

'Sounds nice. Pick me up at seven?' Kelly replied with a smile.

'It's a date.' Steve settled.

He caught the words too late and the two stared at each other before he broke out laughing and she did the same.

'It's a date.' Kelly agreed.

_**08.43 AM**_

Andrea bustled around to straighten out her papers. She had dropped one of the folders next to her seat, but luckily she still had about ten minutes before class started.

'Morning chief.' Brandon greeted her.

'Brandon! Hi… Could you?' she asked motioning towards some loose sheets at his feet.

'Sure.' He said picking them up. 'You alright?'

'Yes.' She paused. 'No. That paper is driving me… But I don't have to tell you that.' She added.

'No, but then again you re-do almost everything I hand you…' she knew he was mocking her but she was not in the mood to play that game.

Instead she sent him a stern look.

'I guess it's just my day today huh.' He murmured mostly to himself.

'What?' Andrea asked, curious.

'Nothing.' Brandon quickly replied.

He took a seat next to hers and opened his books with a bored look. 'Did you finish the home work?' he asked.

'Yeah, sure. You?'

'Around three last night.' He laughed half heartedly. 'Not a pretty sight.'

'Well, it better earn you at least a B or Mr. Meyers is going to be cutting down more on your involvement with the paper, and I just can't handle any more alone.' Andrea scolded.

Brandon stared at her knowingly, but with a hint of annoyance at being reminded.

'Sorry.' She said.

They had already lost some of their best writers because the students had not held up a grade point average to the satisfaction of Mr. Meyers, and now he was threatening to lay off more students from the extra-curricular activity if they did not prioritize school work.

Brandon grunted in reply.

'Morning class.' A voice from the teachers desk said, and silence filled the room.

_**8.55 AM**_

David was tiered. In fact he tried to recall the last time he had woken up fully rested and came up empty handed. Right now he was sitting in the waiting room for an appointment with the guidance counsellor.

He had skipped any college plans last term in case his work load would turn out to be to heavy, but with t his latest test scores the prospect looked quite promising.

In fact he had already started going through various catalogues and application forms.

'Silver, David.'

_**9.00 AM**_

Dylan was bored. He had listened to Kelly scolding him for the last hour and a half. What with his night of too little sleep it was not the way he had intended to start the day.

She had been accusing him of just that. Being somewhere far away, somewhere that was certainly not with her. In fact she had downright asked him if she was a substitute, and sitting here he could not help but wander why he had gotten not only himself but someone who really had initially no part in his problems into this mess.

He never wanted to hurt anybody, and seeing what he seemed to be doing to Kelly broke his heart. Despite their mutual attraction, and the strong feelings involved when they were together in a more physically close setting, the real passion was lacking.

The emotions that made him ache during the day as well as night because she was not there with him, the desire to pick up the phone and just listen to her talking about anything, or visiting the book store and buying a book that they could co-read and have a heated discussion about over dinner in a few days. What bothered him the most, however, was that she had put down her foot that morning. If he did not make a commitment, a gesture of some sort to re-assure her that what they had was going somewhere, she was through with him.

And he was not so sure that was a bad thing…

In fact, his mind was drifting elsewhere, again. Brenda and Donna had just walked through the door, smiling and talking. He saw Brenda's eyes travel over the class and land a little longer on him. Dylan chose to stare right back, willing some emotion into that gaze so she could feel.

He looked down at the books spread out before him. Despite being in fairly early for school he had lacked the time to pass his locker and drop off anything before class because of the fight with Kelly.

His fingers brushed over the title of certain book that did not belong in this class. It was an old publication of a drama that had been turned into a theatrical play not long after it was written. Dylan looked up at Brenda again. She had sat down next to Donna and the two girls were still talking, although in hushed voices. Maybe she had already read it. Then again, he could just slip it to her brother and have him hand it to her. Anonymously from Dylan's part.

Without hesitation he covered the book with his hand and hid it underneath the many other papers he had brought with him.

Brenda had not noticed the movement, but she did chance another glance towards him over her shoulder, and he refrained from catching her at it. Instead he busied himself with playing with a book of his own, a later version of the same author.

_**09.30 AM**_

Kelly shook her head at the board. Her thoughts were elsewhere, and she was not focusing on the words of the professor. He talked about some historical event and she pondered if history could repeat itself.

She saw Steve smile at something and found herself curious as to the source for his behaviour. Lately she seemed to be spending her time searching for direction signs to the future.

When they went out it was a whirlwind romance to start with. Two popular students creating a match many had expected. She wondered if they, at that point, really had known anything more about each other, or bothered to find out.

After a while they did build a solid relationship based perhaps more on trust and friendship than on love and passion. After years apart, and of growing up side by side, she wondered if this was what she had been searching for all along. The sign that would guide her. Maybe another try would be more successful than the last.

Because the truth was that she was worried. About the future, about holding on, and about herself. Who would she be on a brand new campus, with new people. Some part wanted to grab hold of something secure and go back in time while moving forward simultaneously.

Even now she supposed that was not the best way to go about things, but she could not help wonder.

_**10.15 AM**_

'_Brandon, lift me up.' The girls voice was shrill and soft at the same time._

_He looked inquiringly at her and then towards the tree. 'You'll fall.'_

'_Not if you catch me.' Brenda replied confidently. _

_She had obviously set her mind on climbing up there, whether he would help her willingly or not. Some part of him decided to help her._

'_Put your foot here.' He held out his hands and she obliged by placing her left foot in his grip. _

_She carefully grabbed a hold of his shoulders with her hands and he shifted his weight to lift her upwards. As he held her up she reached upwards with her right hand. With a few attempts she actually got a good hold on the first branch and pulled herself all the way up._

'_Don't go away Brandon.' His sister pleaded, a slight concern shining through the determined exterior._

He shook his head to not drift off further from the lecture. No one seemed to be noticing his absence, however.

They had been six or seven and she never fell from that tree. She always seemed so determined to be brave in front of him, like he would think less of her if she did not. Truth was he had come back later that night to climb the tree himself, but fell down and scraped his knee.

Still he always ended up trying so hard to protect her from everything. Like when she started going out with Dylan, he had been beyond worried about the prospect of his best friend and his sister dating. In fact it did turn out to end with a nasty string of complications, but in the end he felt confident that their relationship was far from over. At least a friendship like that would last, and he decided that sometimes he tried to protect her from the wrong things.

Then again, he would have caught her if she had fallen.

_**10.45 AM**_

Andrea bustled around in the room. The paper was almost empty, but Brandon was sitting at a desk not far away.

While it was mid-January of their senior year, and she was co-editor in chief alongside Brandon, the work-load had not gotten easier. In fact she remembered her first year here with fondness. Granted back then the responsibilities she upheld were far less.

Brandon was watching a piece of paper with interest.

'What have you got there?' she asked, attempting to start up a lighter conversation.

He looked up at her with a bit of the hurt from before still visible in his face.

'Look, I'm sorry about before.' She started.

'Don't. It's okay, I've been a jerk all week.' He replied immediately.

'Are you alright?' Andrea asked.

'Nah… But who is?' and with that he brushed off the topic and showed her the article he had been reading. 'What do you think? First page quality?'

It was a sports coverage, written by a junior who had just started at the paper a few months before Christmas.

'Let me see that.'

They stayed like that, each working hard to finish as much as possible of the coming day's edition before their next class.

_**10.50 AM**_

Brenda was intrigued by the voice of the teacher. He was telling them about 18th century England, and the working conditions there as described in books. After bringing up classics as well as names she had never heard he had reached the topic of working legislations compared to today.

She could tell that only a few of the students found this remotely interesting. For a moment Brenda thought about telling Dylan at lunch, but then she remembered. They were not exactly in the situation to be discussing literature class contents.

Then she thought about telling Brandon, but he might just snap at her again. A part of her remained firm in the explanation she had given Donna, she was feeling this way simply because she hated fighting with him. But another part admitted that it was more. She was scared.

It seemed like over less than a year she had lost several of the people she counted on the most. First Kelly, then Dylan, and now Brandon. Somehow she felt a bit lost as to where she could turn.

Even though she hoped that the fight with Brandon would be resolved by tonight she knew their relationship had been rocky over the last month. It all started when the Dylan/Kelly scenario hit a peak and she withdrew from the rest of the gang. Maybe she had been expecting Brandon to keep listening, but of course he would grow tiered. Even she was tiered.

Tiered of having to dwell on the fact that she was lonely all over again.

She glanced at Donna sitting besides her. The other girl was drawing something on her note sheets. Probably another design. Brenda predicted a bright future for her friend, probably in the fashion industry. Or maybe as a business woman. Why not both?

With a slight smile on her face she felt better. She would always have Donna there, or at least she thought so. Right now, and probably for the coming years as well, her friend was pretty pre-occupied with David, but whenever Brenda called she knew there would be at least one person to answer her beckons. And she swore then and there always to stand by Donna's side too and help her the best she could.

_**10.55 AM**_

The school was quiet and alive at the same time. Bustling in the hallway and chatter from various class rooms could be heard, and the editing room of the paper was in motion, but nevertheless there was a silence that fell over all schools when classes were in progress.

Brandon had stopped thinking about it, but today he found it strange. For some reason the silence more than the noise caught his attention as he was walking from one of the desks to the other. Only seconds later the alarm sounded and he knew that it was not going to be another drill.

'Andrea!' he shouted and caught his friend's attention. She looked up at him, seeing his expression, and her face seemed to grow serious.

'That isn't the fire alarm.' She replied.

'I know.' He shouted back.

Suddenly the quiet was wiped away.

'Let's go.' He added, dropping the papers and grabbing her hand.

As they started moving towards the door he could tell that students all around the building where doing the same.

'Brando!' he heard as they reached the hallway.

Dylan was racing towards them and the group of three huddled besides the entrance door to the paper.

'Something big is going on.' Dylan said, slightly breathless.

'Everyone seems panicked.' Andrea noted.

Brandon looked around and realized that everybody was either jogging or running to get somewhere. Most of them looked worried or confused, and he guessed that half of them had no idea what was happening, while a few might have set off the stress.

'Where's Brenda?' Dylan asked, looking around with inquiring eyes. His gaze landed on Brandon as if he expected a qualified answer from the boy.

'I don't know. I haven't seen her since this morning.' He suddenly felt a pang of worry. Should he not know at least what class she was in right now?

'Shouldn't you be asking about Kelly?' Andrea pointed out, and received a silencing glare from Dylan.

He did not grant her an answer, but instead motioned towards the stair case.

'We should try to head out the back. Everyone will be trying for the front entrance, it'll be packed.'

'Let's go.' Brandon agreed and tugged at Andrea's limp hand still in his grip.

_**10.56 AM**_

'What's going on?' Donna shouted over the shouts and sounds of running feet.

'I don't know, but it doesn't seem good.' Brenda replied with a loud enough voice.

'Oh my god.' Donna stated as they heard several loud bangs. 'We have to find David!' she determined and the two girls fought their way out into the hallway.

Brenda scanned the scene and realized that they were pressed against the wall as it was and could easily get separated. Finding David was not a priority right now, getting out without being stomped to death was.

'We have to go. David's a big boy, he'll get out on his on!' she shouted to her friend.

Donna looked initially shocked at the proposal but after being shoved out of the way by a fast moving freshmen she nodded her head. 'Which way?'

Brenda looked around again. 'That way!' she pointed in the same direction as most of the people around them where heading.

'Don't let go Brenda.' Donna said grabbing her friend's hand. Brenda looked back and nodded.

'If we stay together we'll be fine Donna.'

**_10.57_** **_AM_**

Steve pushed Kelly in front of him. They were nearing the principal's office and the teacher lounge. A few more steps and they would be turning the last corner before the exit.

'Come on! Hurry.' He called ahead and with a tight grip around Kelly's waist kept moving forward.

'Who is it?' Kelly shouted back. 'Who?'

'Some messed up third year I think.' Steve replied. 'Come on, run Kelly.'

The fact that rumours spread amidst this panic was just a reassuring that this was indeed high school. Someone had shouted out that there was a boy shooting at people inside the school, that they all had to get out.

Personally he had no idea if that was remotely true or just someone's idea of a good joke, but considering the panic around them he figured it was not worth sticking around to find out.

**_10.58 AM_**

Andrea saw the heap of students screaming and running along the second floor hallway. There was a stop somewhere around the entrance door, probably because of the masses trying to all get out simultaneously.

'This way.' She said motioning for them to keep climbing down the stairs.

'Right behind you chief.' Brandon said from beside her. He held her hand, and she figured it was more out of instinct than anything else that she held onto it so hard.

'Dylan!' she heard Brandon shout.

'Keep going man.' Dylan replied from somewhere not far away.

**_10.58 AM_**

Steve was the first one out, but not one the first with the same idea. People were shoving them to get out and he pulled Kelly towards the rows of parked cars not far away.

They stopped besides a red one and caught their breaths. She was looking at him with fear evident in her eyes and he was afraid that his face was not very confident either.

'We're fine. It's probably just a trick.' He decided.

There was another loud bang and this time it was followed by the breaking of glass.

'What about the rest?' Kelly asked.

_**10.59 AM**_

Brandon, Andrea, and Dylan reached the backside along with a whole group of other people. They ran a few more paces and stopped besides the first row of cars. A grey Mercedes became temporary protection.

Dylan stopped besides Brandon while Andrea moved around the car and stopped on the other side of it to look at them confused.

'Come on!' she waved.

Brandon looked around. Far to his left he saw Steve and Kelly looking at him. Steve waved and he did the same. They were still pretty far away from each other, and he figured they ought to stay where they were until the commotion had stopped.

_**10.59 AM**_

Brenda screamed. There were people everywhere, pulling and pushing her. She felt Donna's hand in hers and it calmed her. They had just seen a locker splashed with blood and Brenda had no intention of finding out more about what exactly had happened there right now. All she wanted was to get out.

The entrance doorway had been packed forcing her and Donna towards one of the few other exits. It was not as crowded but the people who were exiting did so running.

She squeezed Donna's hand as she saw the doors being open and they headed out together, hand in hand and side by side running full force down the last stairs and out onto the open concrete parking lot.

The first person she recognized was her brother staring at her. His gaze was so intense. Next to him he spotted Dylan of all people and felt a rush of relief at seeing both boys apparently un harmed standing up in front of a grey car.

She did not stop to look for much else but kept running towards them with Donna close behind.

'Are you okay?' Dylan asked. He was out of breath, just like herself.

'Yeah.'

'Donna?' Brandon inquired.

'Aha.' The girl next to her nodded.

For some reason Andrea then caught their attention, waving and shouting something. Brenda felt as if her ears had momentarily locked and did not hear what was happening. It seemed to have an affect however, because Dylan locked eyes with Brandon and then proceeded to drag Donna to behind the car.

She had no idea why she bent down to catch her air in the open like that, with Brandon in front of her looking worried and watchful at the same time.

What she did know was that her eyes were towards the school. Not that far away really.

She saw him, the boy from earlier that morning.

_The girls walked close together in the direction of a stair case to join forces for math. Half way there another boy pushed past them and for a second the two girls were forced apart. Standing on either side of the space where the boy had just walked past they faced each other._

'_Someone's having a bad morning.' Brenda concluded._

'_No kidding.' Donna agreed._

He was holding a gun. It shone in the reflection of the light outside. Brenda did not know that much about guns but when he pointed it she did realize he was going to fire it. The first bang echoed around them.

It was the second one that bothered her. His gun swayed and she saw it stop just before the pointer reached her. It stopped and he closed one eye as if to aim. Just a random selection she guessed, whoever was standing up, a clear target easy to hit without any chance of finding protection in time.

'Brandon!' she screamed simultaneously as she straightened up and took one leap towards him.

He was just turning to look towards the entrance, probably because of the first sound.

She never heard the second shot, should it not have echoed around like the first? A loud bang or even a softer sound.

Brenda did feel Brandon fall underneath her force.

_**11.00 AM**_

He landed on his back. All he could think about was whether or not she had been hit. When he moved his hands to her back to hold onto her and felt the sticky sensation he knew.

Without thinking he let out a strange scream, like a muffled sob mingled with a surprised outburst.

'Bren!' he whispered, to try and regain control of the situation.

Brandon decided to roll over and place her in lying position. Despite the sounds around them all he heard was a soft breath from her and it was all the re-assurance he needed.

'Bren!' he repeated once her body was resting on the ground and he had sat up.

Careful not to hurt her any more Brandon shifted her head onto his lap and looked down.

Brenda seemed perfectly fine, except for the shaking. And then his eyes focused on a spreading pool of red contrasting against her dress. It was a clear hit, somewhere in her stomach. He tried to recall any health class he had attended and found himself hoping no vital organs had been hurt.

Without focusing on his surroundings again he started talking to her. She kept her eyes open, watching him with expectant eyes. Trusting gazes.

Brandon pulled off his collared shirt and bundled it together into a neat pile before pressing it against her wound. Then he realized that was not the worst trouble. As he reached around her to move her weight again he felt the blood seeping out from her back soaking not only her clothes but the ground.

Now he would admit it, he was scared. Very scared. He moved the shirt to underneath her instead and used one of his hands to try and cease the blood flow from the front of her stomach.

'You caught me.' She whispered, her voice shaking.

'Of course I did.' He fought to again hide the tears. 'I'm sorry.' He said.

'I know.' She replied without hesitation.

'I love you Brandon.' She continued.

'I love you too sis…'

'Don't leave Brandon.' Brenda looked so fragile, he thought about any other time he had seen her this way and thought about their fight earlier this morning.

'I promise.' He replied. It seemed to calm her somewhat, at least her eyes grew less frightened. 'It's okay, I've got you sis.'

He kissed her forehead.

She shuddered. 'It hurts.'

'Bren!' he heard someone else calling her name and looked up momentarily.

He saw Dylan sitting opposite him taking her pulse.

'Call 911.' Brandon said quietly. 'Call 911!' he repeated more forcefully.

He did not think about anybody else, he did suppose they were all somewhere around. Watching, wondering…

'Come on sis. Brenda, come on you've got to hold on a little longer.'

She seemed to look at him with a pleading expression. 'Can't…' she whispered.

'They're on their way.' Steve was saying. Brandon only hoped he was referring to the ambulance.

'Brandon…' she said the name in two breaths, as tears where rolling freely down her cheeks. He supposed they were from a mix of pain and fear.

'I'm right here Bren.' He replied.

Brandon pulled her body closer, cradling her in his lap with the faint idea that maybe if he held her close enough he could force strength into her.

'Tell mom and dad…' she started.

'No, Brenda don't say that.' Brandon paused, resting his eyes against her head. He felt the tears stinging and could not do much to keep them from falling. His voice broke as he talked. 'I can't do this without you Bren.'

Brenda's eyes pressed together and when she opened them again she looked at him with so much trust he felt guilty.

'I'm scared bran.'

'Me too sis. But it's gonna be okay.' He whispered.

_**11.05 AM**_

The lights were everywhere, and the sound of the ambulance speeding towards and from the scene defined that day for those present. Everyone saw it a bit differently, worried about something special.

When Brandon felt Brenda's hand squeeze his while the doctors worked on her in the fast moving car he decided to never loose hope.

'Is she going to be alright?' he asked anybody who would listen.

The problem was that no one heard him, they were all busy. Maybe he was thankful for that, to know they were focused on his sister lying there in front of him. But when they reached the hospital and the beeping machines started sounding on one tone alone he felt like his heart had broken and then been torn out.

They started the electricity and shocked her before he felt another heart beat in himself. As the line started steadily moving up and down again with her pulse he drew another breath.

'You're going to have to wait outside sir.' A nurse stated and pushed him out of there.

All he could do was breath and chance one more look at her.

'I promised to stay with her.' He said.

'And I promise you will be the first one to know when she's out of surgery. You can still be there when she wakes up, but now what she needs are those doctors working her over.'

With that he nodded in acceptance and stumbled towards the waiting area. There he saw the fallen faces of his friends stare back at him.

_**11.35 AM**_

Dylan was looking at Brandon with a stern face. He had no idea of what emotion to show off in public like this, but he knew that what was going on inside him was beyond turmoil. He shifted his gaze towards Kelly and provided a faint smile of support.

He was relieved she was okay, that almost all of them where. David had reunited with them at the hospital. He had headed out the front side and ended up with broken arm from the havoc. Other than that the only problems seemed to be whatever traumas this had etched into the series of faces.

Steve sat in a chair not far from Brandon's in the row against the wall opposite Dylan's seat. He looked tiered and occasionally chanced glances at the twin next to him. His hair was standing up slightly and his whole appearance looked controlled.

There was an empty seat between Brandon and Nat. The latter had kept a hand resting on the young ones shoulder and only recently removed it. His face was grim, like he had seen something like this before, or perhaps just realized that the world was cruel after all.

Mr. and Mrs. Walsh were huddled together next to Dylan, occasionally making faint sobbing noises.

Then there was Kelly, standing a bit from Steve with her eyes mostly down-cast. As if she were thinking. Of what he could not tell. He never could.

Donna and David formed the other couple cluster to Dylan's right, just opposite Steve. Neither said much, and frankly Dylan had not gotten a meaningful word out of Donna since the parking lot.

So he was mostly left to his own thoughts, and he could not help wonder if they were at all similar to the boy sitting before him.

Brandon's face was like that of a whole other person. His eyes seemed desperate whenever he looked up, his composure defeated, and the faint tears running down his cheeks in steady streams seemed to contrast the otherwise clenched jaw and set face.

Dylan dared a glance towards the left. Staff members passed through the doors there, and a receptionist was handling phone calls. No doctors had yet come out to speak with them. Well, other than with Mr. and Mrs. Walsh who were escorted inside an office briefly upon their arrival.

Brandon looked up, the movement catching his attention, and stared up at the direction signs.

_Surgery & Reception, left_

_Chapel, right_

**_12.45 PM_**

Donna sighed. For a moment she wondered why hospitals always made her feel this way. She should be used to them by now, what with her father's occupation. Nevertheless, they manage to hit a nerve on her.

She always feared what went on in those hidden rooms, the ones you only ever saw as a patient. The rooms like where Brenda must be right now.

Would they really come out and tell them immediately? If it was bad news.

Donna looked up towards Brandon, and heard Mr. and Mrs. Walsh talking quietly. She wondered if either of them could handle bad news. Personally she would break down, and after all she had just known the girl for a couple of years. Still, she felt like her own sister was lying in there somewhere.

She knit her hands in her lap and stared straight at Brandon. He must have noticed because he looked up and met her gaze. With that she started praying. Mumbling un-heard words to herself and whoever would listen. Praying that they would not be torn apart this soon, that a precious life could be saved. Or maybe even two, she thought looking at the boy who still watched her intently.

He did not smile, but she knew from his eyes that his gaze was thankful for her actions. She did not expect him to look anything but confused. How could he? In fact, she tried to remember what he looked like smiling, and came up blank as she watched the emotion plainly visible in his eyes.

_**1.45 PM**_

She moved towards the water tap. There were plastic cups awaiting her and she pulled up as many as she could carry.

Her eyes travelled down the hallway she had just walked and landed upon the group of people sitting there. Only one seemed to have noticed her departure. Steve followed her movements for a while with his eyes, then simply looked at the floor somewhere close to her position.

They had sat there for hours now, none of them saying a word to each other with any real meaning since the chaos had settled minutes after their arrival.

She tried to re-call her emotions in the class room in the morning. It seemed like weeks ago all of a sudden. But as she watched the blonde boy she did feel a tug at her heart. Not the one she had expected, but it was there.

In the end she realized that it was not about finding signs in the past to her future. It was about creating new signs right now that she wanted to follow. And with that she looked at Steve one more time and walked back towards the waiting group.

Right now their friendship was stronger than ever, she just hoped it would be enough. She certainly knew it was all she needed from any of them at the moment, and that it would last.

_**2.15 PM**_

The waiting area must have been one of the mot depressing surroundings he had ever visited. Or maybe it was just the reason for his stay here.

He had replayed the events in his head so many times by now he felt as if he had watched it on TV somewhere instead of being there. He saw her face in front of him, scared and trembling, felt the blood on his hands even now after washing them thirty three times.

But most of all he saw the line on the monitor go flat over and over again. He warily looked around for a doctor. He had to be there when she woke up. He had promised, and he had every intention of keeping that promise.

With another effort he closed his eyes and tried to feel something, anything. In that twin-project they had participated in for CU he remembered one of the other pairs saying they had found themselves in a similar situation. The remaining twin had been able to sense the other's life force.

Oh what he would do to have seen whatever she saw first. To not have allowed her to shield his body. Brandon did not dare look up at his parents, afraid that they would recognize his fault. Great work. Not only had he managed to make her cry, he had gotten his sister shot as well.

He came up blank. Maybe they were not as strongly connected as those experiments. Maybe he had just grown desperate with age…

Yet he did not feel broken, not like in that room when she drifted away. He felt his heart beat on steadily and somehow convinced himself that was enough. If she was gone he would know it. And so far she was holding on.

'Good girl.' He whispered to himself.

No one else paid much attention, or heard him. So he mimicked Donna's motion. All is fair in love and war. With that he knit his hands and closed his eyes again.

_**9.15 PM, three days later**_

'_Brandon, lift me up.' The girls voice was shrill and soft at the same time._

_He looked inquiringly at her and then towards the tree. 'You'll fall.'_

'_Not if you catch me.' Brenda replied confidently. _

_She had obviously set her mind on climbing up there, whether he would help her willingly or not. Some part of him decided to help her._

'_Put your foot here.' He held out his hands and she obliged by placing her left foot in his grip. _

_She carefully grabbed a hold of his shoulders with her hands and he shifted his weight to lift her upwards. As he held her up she reached upwards with her right hand. With a few attempts she actually got a good hold on the first branch and pulled herself all the way up._

'_Don't go away Brandon.' His sister pleaded, a slight concern shining through the determined exterior_.

The light was overwhelming. It was everywhere, making her eyes sting. She tried to move but found her weight much to heavy to shift.

She let her hand squeeze whatever it was holding and felt something squeeze back. With an effort Brenda opened her eyes and focused on her brother's face next to her.

'You stayed.' She whispered, her voice coming out hoarse, sounding almost like someone else.

'I promised.' He pulled up her hand and pressed it against his lips. They felt strangely warm against her skin. Un-familiar yet comforting at the same time. 'I love you sis, don't ever scare me like that again.'

Lacking the strength to reply she simply attempted a smile. There was movement to her other side and after a few attempts she manage to turn her head.

She looked up at another familiar friendly face.

'Hi Brenda.' Donna's voice broke.

_**9.55 PM, in another room**_

The draperies really where depressing here. Even though the colours were fairly neutral they seemed so… Doomed.

She tried to blink and focus her eyes elsewhere. The room was quiet, and she felt her lack of strength as she tried to move from her position on what felt like a bed. It was dark too, and to her left she saw the window reveal night fall.

For a moment she pondered if this was what it felt like to be dead. Then again, would she really feel this tiered if she had died?

There was a slight movement that caught her attention.

'Hi Donna.'

She immediately recognized the voice and the relief washed over her. With a faint smile she looked up at the one person sitting on a stool not far away.


	7. Dear readers

Dear readers,

I wanted to make sure you all knew how much I love and appreciate you and that every review and every number that increases upon someone reading my story makes my day. Thank you for all the amazing support, ideas, and warmth that you've brought.

Lately, as you may or may not have noticed, I have not been updating any stories despite my promises and I apologize. My life has taken some un-expected turns which have craved my attention more than the writing, sadly, but I am working hard to resolve all this and hopefully, at the latest, I will be able to not only start updating regularly but also wrap up several storylines during the spring.

I hope you will all remain with me through this process and keep reading and reviewing (or just feel free to e mail or write a review notice about whatever, I answer all those I can and find a return address to).

Thank you again for your support, you are all amazing,

All my love & be safe out there,

Darkflames/Petra


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